Be good, and you will be lonesome, be lonesome and you will be free. Live a lie and you will live to regret it, that's what living is to me. -Buffett

Hmm. A lot is going on here. My mind is wandering to many different things. They're not bad. I'm doing really well. I'm learning so much here it seems.

I'm learning about being a nurse. We have many different types of patients here. I'm just seeing different ways of being a nurse. I'm also having the opportunity (at times my only option) to teach a lot of my corpsmen. Some of them were pulled from desk jobs and they are now on a floor and when we get busy, I rely on them a lot. The only problem is....they don't always know what it is I'm asking them to do, so then I have to stop and teach them, which takes even longer. I enjoy this, don't get me wrong. I've just been spoiled to having corpsmen that have been on the floor a while.

I'm learning about being an officer. There are situations that arise that I've never had to deal with back at Bethesda. At first, I was getting really upset because the politics are worse here, which I never could imagine. But, now I'm realizing that it really is showing me important things I will need to know. Something I'm going through right now is kinda strange and hard, but I am seeing how the process works and having to make choices that are good for my shipmates and Navy. It may be tough to make those decisions, but I know they have to be done.

I'm learning about monotony. Pfew....every day same thing. Wake up. Work out. Eat. Work. Home. Ready for bed. Maybe movie or call or internet.

I'm trying to keep my self confidence that I've always had.....but....I feel like people pick apart how you look here. I don't understand it. When I was talking about rugby one day, I had a corpsman ask me if that's how I broke my nose. I stopped writing and told him that I never broke my nose. He felt like a jerk. Then, I had another one ask me if I was ever a big (meaning fat) kid before. I said no and asked why and he said because I had chubby cheeks.

Mind you, these are both things that I have been very self conscious of in the past and there really isn't anything I can do about it so I just let it go and don't let it bother me...but it just seems weird that these things come up here. I feel like I'm in high school or something around some of these guys.

Then, other little things that people will ask about the way I walk or anything...I now get defensive. What do they want?? Do I ask everyone else about their looks? No. Whatever. I'm kinda using that frustration though to help me work out more. I'm starting to tone down. I'm liking that. It's hard to control the diet here though! There is all this free food at the DFAC and always desert around the hospital.....urg! If I could just stop that part I'd be super skinny...but NO! haha.

This is such an interesting experience. I didn't know what to expect. I am really enjoying my time here though and I know it will go fast. I'm excited about the holidays here. I think it will be a lot of fun! I know other people will be missing their husbands/wives/kids/girlfriends/boyfriends, etc...but I don't have all that, so I'm gonna have a good time being here with friends.