Things that spark a feeling or emotion in me
.the hill by the Ballpark in Arlington
.the smell of crisp, early fall mornings
.Lifehouse "Hanging by a moment"
.my red nursing scrubs from Tech
.subarus
.4 runners
.starbucks
.death cab for cutie
.midori ::shutters::
.the aim cash register buddy alert sound
Every day, every minute it seems, I'm cast back into time. Be it growing up, high school and my first experience with love, college and learning all about myself, or other lost loves that still seem to linger with me. It's as if images, smells, songs all burn themselves in my brain and I can't get them to go away even if I tried. I know I really want them all to stay. They are good memories, but when you realize they are just memories and the moment is gone....they become bad.
I'm getting to the point where I'm afraid to start developing new ones. I know now in a few years, they will become those dreaded thoughts that I can't let go of. Reminding me of a time in my life that I learned, grew, loved, or struggled....but a time that I made it through and survived. I'm trying to just stop and smile that I had those feelings at one point in my life....and embrace the fact that I do want to have more like that. I do want to have someone hold me some day. I want to hear someone say they love me. I miss having friends close where we wake up and start goofing off, even if it's 4 in the morning (Lyndsy!). I miss hot tubs and drinking wine coolers! I miss snuggling with my favorite couple when I'm feeling unattractive or completely crushed by a guy.
I miss seeing my grandmother tear up when I would go and see her.
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