I'll go down the road trusting in God and hugging my bottle of wine. - Fireballs, Bottle Of Wine

Lyndsy visited this weekend and on Saturday we took a day trip with Tanya and Phil to the Shenandoah Valley to see the leaves change. We were a bit too early in the season and also the drought has really affected the trees, so they are not as colorful. It still was beautiful. We stopped at a few vineyards to have some wine tastings. Just thought I'd put some pics up of the trip down there and then one random one of us on the metro Sat night going out for Brit's birthday.

Take a look at who you are, it's pretty scary. - Devo, Turnaround

These are some pics from work the other night. I was a ladybug; however, I think the striped arm thingys made people think I was a bee. I dunno. Nonetheless....it was a crazy night and we all had a good time. Too much candy. We were all checking out blood sugar to see who had the highest. haha. Nurses and corpsmen are really big dorks if you didn't already pick up on that from my blog. We also had a code drill, which was funny that we were all running in to do cpr and revive a "patient". Hope everyone had a great halloween!

Must be the season of the witch. - Donovan, Season Of The Witch

Just about time for trick or treating. I found out I can dress up at work on Halloween. I need to find a costume stat. I thought about going as a nursing student and dig out my old scrubs. That would be comfortable and easy.

I came back from hot Texas to a cool DC. As I drive down the road I have colorful leaves raining down on me like snow. I love that. I love having real seasons. The trees are so beautiful when they change color. We actually even have a freeze advisory tonight. Crazy. I am so looking forward to digging out all my sweaters and coats....and then eventually my snowboard! :) The past few days were overcast and rainy. We hadn't gotten rain in so long. I actually loved that it was dark and dreary. I really think I would love Seattle. Yes, San Diego would be beautiful...but I really think after months of the same weather, I would get bored. Great to vacation at or stay a few years, but I need a place where you can see the seasons of the year. It reminds me how amazing our God is that can create such a masterpiece.

I have been doing charge nurse orientation last night and the night before. Last night, I was pretty much on my own. I didn't think I would like charge...but overall, it was a nice change! It was a lot of putting orders in and checking charts, but still. I was able to run around and make sure my staff was all happy and everything was running smoothly. Maybe I am set up for management. Hmm. I was still able to go make rounds around the floor and visit with patients and help out when there was a crisis. Tonight, I'm on the floor, but that's okay. I get a few days off.

Fall into the single file line and complete the plans. - Stone Temple Pilots, Army Ants

These are just a few of the hundreds of pictures Ray took at C4! I saved some and have them on facebook. Here are the links to the three photo albums:

http://ttu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2185151&l=ca89f&id=16706036

http://ttu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2185149&l=93099&id=16706036

http://ttu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2185143&l=40159&id=16706036

Then as it was, then again it will be. Though the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea. - Led Zeppelin, 10 Years Gone

These are some pics from the 2 days leave I took after C4 in S.A. My sis and her friend came up to see me. We went to a haunted house, the riverwalk, our patio (which had a bar about a block from it so we had live music!), and the farmers market. There are some pics from the club that I fell in love with. Nerve Ana was the name. Clever. Well, they have a 70's, 80's, and 90's room. We found these army and air force guys there that were hilarious. They were having "dance offs". I think they were trying to see who looked more retarded dancing to 80's music. It kept us entertained all night. This trip restored my faith in San Antonio. I had more fun on the riverwalk this trip to Texas than any other time!

Whatever road you choose, I'm right behind you win or lose. - Rod Stewart, Forever Young

First off. Here's a video. It's about 6 minutes. It shows why the medical and surgical teams do what they do overseas. http://www.militarytimes.com/multimedia/video/rpg_surgery

These pictures are just a few of the ones taken. The ones where we were actually in the field are on my disposable camera that I have to get developed. Okay, so these are our "hutmets". That's our "home". We would be busy most of the time, and then would have random time to do nothing....so we'd listen to our ipods, lay on the cot and enjoy the breeze when we had one, discuss wanting to go to the bathroom after eating all the damn mre's, talk about which mre's are the best and share the m&m's if anyone was lucky enough to get one of those.

The first few days we were bused from camp bullis over to fort sam for our professional classes. All the nurses attended TNCC. (trauma nursing care course) Somehow I managed to pass the written and skills test. Weee. Those were long days of classes.

Then, Monday we woke up at the buttcrack of dawn, loaded the duce and a half and drove our convoy out to our little campsite. We had our duffle bag, ruck sack, vest, and weapon that we had to lug around. That's some tough stuff. I don't know how some of the guys do this for marches. So, Monday we had some briefs and then broke up and learned land navigation, security operations, how to call a medevac on the radio, weapons familiarization, decontamination if a chemical/biological threat hit us, how to do field dressings, how to load ambulances out in the field. It was a fun day.
Tuesday, we marched out and set up a navy FAS (forward aid station). Basically, a small tent used to get guys straight from the field wounded, triage, patch them up and make them stable, and get them straight on a medevac. We took turns doing different roles. Sometimes, we carried the patients as a litter carrier, once I was the medevac officer in charge of the status of all the patients and when they were going to get a medevac out. Sometimes, we got to be the physicians or corpsmen working on the patients. Some of the other students were playing injured patients. After lunch, we switched and now I got to be the injured patient. That was fun. Later that day, we went on mock convoys. We turned a corner and found that an IED had hit a truck and there were dummies injured and laying everywhere. We had to jump out of the truck, run and set up a perimeter and let the corpsmen triage and bandage the patient and we got them on the ambulances. That whole thing actually gave me goosebumps. I can't imagine doing it for the real thing. Then, we learned how the army BAS (battalion aid station) worked. Very similar to the navy FAS, but a little smaller.
Wednesday we went to this training facility and went through their tactical simulator. That almost made me pee my pants. It was like a haunted house. Dark, smoky, noisy (people screaming and gunfire going off) and we had to run in rooms, clear them, and find the mannequins and pull them to safety and treat them. It gives you a fraction of an idea of what it's like to be a line corpsmen or medic. You have to work on these wounded guys without being able to see very well or hear if they're breathing and you have the fear of being shot yourself the whole time. It was great training. Then, we went to the litter obstacle course. Oh dear God that was hard. We were on litter teams carrying a mannequin through the woods. Over tall walls, over creeks, through a freaking sand pit with barbed wire, etc. The mannequin was only 140 lbs too! In real life he'd be like 200 or more with all his gear etc. I was freaking exhausted after that run. And these guys do it all the time! We went back to our hutmets that day and got to shower!
Thursday was graduation and everyone but the navy left. We navy folk went out on the range all day to play with guns. Weee. That night, we all cleaned up and went to the riverwalk. That was seriously the BEST freaking time I have ever had on the riverwalk. We went bar hoping, dancing for hours in this one place that has 70's, 80's, and 90's music. It was freaking hilarious.

Things that were typical military:
-briefs. bah.
-waking up to someone banging on my door yelling "reveille"
-mre's. by the way....always add cheese and tobasco and it makes it much better. the sloppy joe and jambalaya ones are excellent!
-no shower
-sweaty kevlar strap that made me break out and look like a leper
-cots. way too small. how do these big guys do it. it killed my back. thankfully, the docs all came around and aligned our backs for us! :)
-gross humor. that's the best. the sad thing is....i had heard some of that stuff that even the guys hadn't all heard!

Not typical military: ( yay being an officer...we're not watched as much. haha)
-a night of streaking by the young, army docs! Just combat boots and gas masks.....I saw too much that night!!!
-stripping on top of your cot while changing in our coed tents with flashlights dancing around.
-mannequins with legs blown off and not the real thing. it gives you an idea, but still not the real thing.

We all spent a lot of time at the USO at the san antonio airport. It's like my home away from home. I would curl up with a blanket and take a nap in a leather recliner. It is the best place to hang out when I'm waiting for a flight!

It was such amazing training. The instructors were army, navy, and air force NCO's that have all been in combat. Some of the corpsmen were in fallujah when that big force hit years ago. One army guy was with the rangers in Somalia (like on black hawk down). They all would sit down and tell us stories. I can't imagine seeing what they've seen. They were the best teachers and instructors. It was supposed to prepare us so if we're in iraq and on a convoy and it gets hit, we know what to do and what everyone else is doing. Scary thought, but it happens. Again, I can't really stop this war and it's only going to get worse because other countries are losing to the radicals, but I can at least be there to help with medical aid to try and limit the loss.

More pictures will be up later.

One was Texas medicine, the other was just railroad gin, and like a fool I mixed them. - Bob Dylan, Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Agai

Okay, kiddos. I'm leavin on a jetplane...don't know when I'll be back again.

Wait. I'm leaving tomorrow early morning. I do know when I'm coming back. But still. I'm leaving tomorrow morning to go to San Antonio for my field medicine trauma course! I've been talking about it enough, huh? It's finally here. Well, the first few days are my trauma nursing course. Then, we go out to the field to set up a hospital. :) It's going to be a blast! I hear it's a ton of fun. I get to hang out with all the branches, so I'll meet some cool army and air force peeps. I have all my cammis ready (which freaked me out when I first put them on!) and got my dogtags made.

I get liberty on the night of the 25th. Anyone want to stop by S.A. and see me??? I can stay somewhere overnight as long as I'm back in the morning because I get to try and get expert on my pistol qual on Friday. Then! Friday afternoon when I'm all done I'm meeting up with my best friend, my sis, and her best friend. All corners of Texas unite! They're coming from Dallas, Houston, and Austin. haha. I took leave that Saturday and Sunday and I fly back Sun afternoon. I'm wickedly happy to see them!

Anywho. Guess I should get some sleep!!!!

Room service, baby I could use a meal, room service, you do what you feel. - KISS, Room Service

Customer service. That is the topic today, kids.

It dawned on me today that I've chosen to do pretty much anything online. Shop, pay bills, browse for apartments, find potential mates, and now print out labels to send packages. Maybe it's the night schedule. Maybe it's that customer service in general has just started to SUCK and I'd rather do all my work for me instead of rely on other people. This all came to my head as I was printing some fedex labels. I have a fedex place right nextdoor, but usually the people that work there are missing a few screws. I found it is much easier to print and pay for my shipping and just walk in the store and put it on the counter and leave. My conversation with the worker went like this

Me (walks in and places the packages on the counter) "The labels are all on. Is that all??"
Worker: "Yes, that's fine. Just set them right here."
Me (sets them on the scale)
Worker: "That's all. Have a good day."
Me: "You too."

excellent. Easy. Way too easy. What do people really get paid for anymore? I check out my own groceries. I fill up my gas tank. Then, when you actually ask for help at a store...you usually get a blank stare and broken english and pointed in the exact wrong direction in the store.

I went to walmart today. Only the 2nd time since I've moved up here a year ago. Well, they were doing some type of inventory thing. There were workers everywhere bumping into you and blocking isles. I was saying "excuse me" at every turn. Did I ever get one back or a smile. NO. They looked at me like I was in THEIR way. wtf? Maybe we all have come to depend on electronics so much that we are losing our social skills and kindness.

Now, I talked about the amazing apartment I found in Bethesda earlier. Well, I've been on their waiting list since the beginning of Sept. They all assured me that I would get a place by the end of November. Now, nothing is available through November. I am SO screwed. Because my rent increased and I'm paying extra to pay month to month, I"m paying over $1400 a month in rent. That's right! $1400. That does not include: gas, electric, water, sewage, and cable. Again. I'm screwed. I kinda chewed out the woman in the office at the place in Bethesda today. I never really do that....but I depended on her. She made me feel like I had no reason to look anywhere else. So, I didn't. Now, I'm scrambling. Customer service people! Help out your fellow man! Especially, if that's your job! Now, she's telling me all the exact opposite that she told me in September. Plus, I'm going to C4 Thursday and not getting back til the 22nd and I need to give my 30 day notice by the 24th if I don't want to pay any more months here. I'm screwed. I'm looking for roommates, apartments, anything. Everything is too expensive or way too far, in which case I'd end up spending hours in traffic or paying too much in gas and putting wear on my car. Damn.

Lord. I'm praying right now that you show me something because I'm on the verge of drowning. I thought You had shown me that apartment because it was the one for me. Specially chosen. Everything was exactly what I needed!! Please come through for me. I'm starting to dwindle on my faith right now.

I'm also praying we all start to buck up and start actually working at our jobs and helping people in need.

All we can do is keep breathing -Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson

I could write my name by the age of three
and I don't need anyone to cut my meat for me.
I'm a big girl now, see my big girl shoes.
It'll take more than just a breeze to make me

Fall over, fall over, fall overboard, overboard.
Fall overboard just so you can catch me.

But as strong as I seem to think I am my distressing damsel,
She comes out at night when the moon's filled up and your eyes are
bright, then I think I simply aught to

Fall over, fall over, fall overboard, overboard.
Fall overboard just so you can catch me.
You can catch me.

I watch the ships go sailing by
I play the girl will you play the guy.
And I never thought I'd be the type
to fall, to fall, to fall, to fall to fall.

To fall over, fall over, fall overboard, overboard.
Fall overboard just so you can catch me.
You can catch me, you can catch me, you can catch-

I watch the ships go sailing by I be your girl will you be my guy.
And I never thought I'd be the type to fall, to fall.

To fall, to fall, to fall...

To fall over, fall over, fall overboard, overboard.
Fall overboard just so you can catch me.
You can catch me, you can catch me.

~Overboard by Ingrid Michaelson

I relate to this song. I've always grown up independent. My dad would never get my bags. He would never wipe down my windshield when it was snowing and icing. He would never baby me if I fell and scraped my knee. Just some spray and a band-aid and encouragement to get back in the game.

There have been times I want to do things myself. But, then..there are nights it's nice to have someone carry my groceries for me or make my bed (that's always a really nice touch guys!). I think deep down I don't want to be that independent girl. My problem is...when I let go of my independence, I do it all the way. I let go of the rope with both hands and hold onto the guy. Then, when the guy ends up leaving me, I'm left falling. How long do I fall? How long until I get a hold of that rope again....just to let go and hold another guy? I think that's why I'm going to hold that rope tighter from now on....at least keep one hand on it for a while. I think that's why near the end I try and grab on tighter. I can feel myself slipping and I can see the bottom of the cliff and I know what's going to happen to me when he's gone. I'm going to be a little more cautious with the rope now.

I had wanted to settle down. I had wanted to turn it all in. For him. I was going to do it. Twice. You'd think I'd had learned my lesson the first time in college when I gave up a dream for a boy and then he left. At least, this time, I had gotten my dream and then he left. But still. I was already thinking I would get out after my contract. Now, I'm free to move on. I think that's why I'm so restless. I have no reason to settle and stay in one place. I felt that for a moment before and look where it's gotten me. I was going to settle and that was shattered. I now want to move on and keep moving. Good news is I'll have friends at other duty stations. Lyndsy and I are already talking about possibly going to Japan or the west coast together. I hope someday we'll be stationed at the same place. We'd be in trouble. I can settle with the idea of not settling. Maybe I'll find another reason to stay in one place. Maybe I'll find another person.

Maybe.

She was standing by the Space Invaders, so I said, can I meet you later? - Ramones, 7-11

Starting all over can be hard. Jobs, new apartments, new cities, new friends, relationships, languages, computer programs, etc. I'm trying. That's the most important part. I've got to make the effort to get out there. It's tough. And fun at times. Exciting. Why is it we get so comfortable in the familiar and find it so difficult to try something new? I give it the "old college try"....but usually just end up thinking, "hm. That was fun. I tried it, right?" and moving on to something else. I'm such a complex character. I like change...and then don't...but usually opt for it anyway. I think I'm a wanderer. I can see if a hot billet opened up next summer/fall for Japan, I would jump on it right away and just hug everyone goodbye and leave. Not that I don't like it wherever I am, but I just tend to keep thinking there is something bigger out there waiting for me somewhere else. Then, I go there. Enjoy my time and figure I should move on to somewhere else. I have been keeping my plans the same though lately. Japan next, then either San Diego or Seattle for grad school. Whichever one I go to for school, I will probably try for the other one as my next duty station. Back to my initial topic. New things. I tried a new restaurant tonight. It's a seafood market by my apartment. It was okay. Slightly disappointed. I had built it up in my head. Maybe that's what's wrong with new things. I build them up to be something great...and when they're not what I think, I get let down and curse the new thing. Restaurants are a big topic as far as trying something new. I always take new people visiting to matchbox. My fav place. Brit likes Uncle Julio's in Bethesda, so when she picks, we go there. Tanya likes On the Border. Jess and I both like La Madeline's, so that works out!

Okay, now I'm just talking about nothing. It shocks me that anyone would even want to read this. Maybe they don't and I'm just amusing myself. I still figure if any of my friends back home want to see what I'm up to without having to call, they can check here. K. Next subject....

I'm finally going to the Black Cat tomorrow. It's a big live music venue place in DC that has bands play pretty much every night. I've wanted to go since I moved here last year and I have a free night tomorrow and someone to go with me, so I'm going. The bands that are playing sound great when I listen to them on myspace. The Blow and Saturday Looks Good to Me are playing. I wish we had an indie radio station. We don't, and I'm surprised being that I live in very liberal DC. wtf? There's one for college park, but I don't pick it up very well. Maybe I should look into satellite radio. Instead, I just end up clicking my money away on itunes. :)