The courtyard looks better green!
Monday, April 27, 2009
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Hot child in the city, running wild and looking and pretty. - Nick Gilder, Hot Child In The City
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Small things are big, huge things are small, tiny acts have huge effects, everything counts, nothing is lost. - Project Pitchfork, Alpha Omega
Old Cowboys stadium in Irving. Yuck. Nasty roof. Bad design...there was a hole in the roof. There was no air conditioning because it wasn't closed, but it would trap the heat in...so it was always crazy hot!
New cowboys stadium in Arlington!!! Woo hoo! Dude. This place is MASSIVE. Beautiful, too.
These are just some random shots of downtown while riding with Courtney. I think Dallas is so pretty. I spent some quality time with Courtney and Shelley. I haven't seen either of them in almost a year. Way too long. I wish we could do this every weekend. They showed me some cute places in Dallas. We sat outside and enjoyed coffee, sun and good friends. I miss Texas.
Just look at this skyline...
I don't have pictures of Fort Worth this time. Everyone I know now lives here in Arlington or the Dallas side. We did stop by the Main Street Arts Festival in Sundance Square in Fort Worth, but my legs really hurt so I went home to ice and rest.
That was the beginning of the trip. It was weird. Today, I didn't even think about the fact that I had surgery almost 3 weeks ago. This was the first day, I hopped out of bed and was walking around and didn't even notice pain. They still feel "tight" and I can't move certain ways because of that, but no real pain anymore! It's been getting better and better every day. Thank you, Lord!
Going back home to DC tomorrow. Mixed feelings about that, but less sad than I have been in the past. I miss my friends in Maryland. They are good people. At least, I know I will be moving to Jacksonville in October and that makes it easier to go back too. I won't be there too long. I'm just not happy on my floor. I'm not challenged. I don't like the kind of work. Monotonous. It's all checklists, but no real "bedside" nursing. Ah well. This all makes me well rounded, right?? haha.
Friday, April 17, 2009
sign said beer bait and ammo - Kevin Fow
All the stores and even the gun range were sold out of the ammo Jeff needed. Wonder if it's the fear of a new administration, taxes, or the talk (possibly joking? Can't be sure) of Texas seceding. Chuck Norris has even stated he would run for President too! (That's no joke)
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Applause, applause, life is our cause. - Joni Mitchell, All I Want
This groundbreaking occurred when I was in Kuwait, but I watched it this morning. Gives me chills when he talks about the caregivers of the armed forces and how special they are. Things like this always remind me how extraordinary it is to be a navy nurse.
It's a long video, but you can just skip through and scan parts of it. The President starts talking right about 8 min in. It's the groundbreaking of the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda. (Done at our campus tower) At 18:30 in the video a cute presentation happens as they are getting ready to do the groundbreaking. Makes all the guests laugh a bit. You might look at that part.
They are closing the current Walter Reed hospital in 2 years and will be moved over to join with the Navy at Bethesda. There's a lot of craziness going on around the campus, but it's kinda exciting.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
When the working day is done, girls they just want to have fun. - Cyndi Lauper, Girls Just Want To Have Fun
The past week I've sat around and iced my legs. Grew annoyed with not being able to walk and watched tons of TLC. I also realized that I've lost all the fun in blogging. my posts in college used to include stick pictures of my nursing exams killing me.
So, I'm going to bring the fun back. Before the navy. Before having a career. Before bills, metro, DC, and leaving to explore the world.
Other short news. My mom left today. It's kinda boring without her here now. I'll be going to Texas on wednesday though, so I'll see her soon. I don't know what I would have done without her. She even would straighten my rug when I got OCD and was going crazy staring at it. Mom's are the best.
So, I'm going to bring the fun back. Before the navy. Before having a career. Before bills, metro, DC, and leaving to explore the world.
Other short news. My mom left today. It's kinda boring without her here now. I'll be going to Texas on wednesday though, so I'll see her soon. I don't know what I would have done without her. She even would straighten my rug when I got OCD and was going crazy staring at it. Mom's are the best.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
We all have pain, we all have sorrow, but if we are wise we know that there's always tomorrow. - Bill Withers, Lean On Me
I had my surgery last Thursday. Thursday and Friday it was pretty painful to get up and I could barely put weight on my legs. Saturday was much better and Sunday was great. I walked a LOT on Sunday.
The more I got my legs going, the better it felt, so I thought it was good that I was walking. Then, I woke up Monday and it was like I had stepped back a day. My right leg seems to be getting worse since then. I'm back to not being able to put weight on that leg. My left one is okay. Just a little sore. I woke up last night in pain, which was the first time that had happened.
My mom still had to come in and help me stand to get on my crutches. Realizing that she was leaving today, I knew I had to learn how to do it without her. The sad thing is. I couldn't. I would get my weight up and then fall forward and have to step on my left leg and yelp in pain. I keep trying to mentally tell myself the pain isn't there and just try and put weight on it, but it's not working. I'm just getting frustrated. I was teased. Sunday was great. I was almost walking normal and since then I'm just getting more and more sore.
I've had more calf pain on the right leg, so I've been wondering if I could have a DVT, but I don't know. I may call the clinic tomorrow if it's not better.
I thought maybe some of my friends could come by and keep me company, but I was realizing that most of my friends are working or doing stuff this weekend for easter, etc. I'm kinda glad my mom is here. She can help get stuff for me and get me up to get to the bathroom, etc.
I hate not being independent. I hate pain meds. I'm mad I was better and I think I made it worse by doing too much.
The more I got my legs going, the better it felt, so I thought it was good that I was walking. Then, I woke up Monday and it was like I had stepped back a day. My right leg seems to be getting worse since then. I'm back to not being able to put weight on that leg. My left one is okay. Just a little sore. I woke up last night in pain, which was the first time that had happened.
My mom still had to come in and help me stand to get on my crutches. Realizing that she was leaving today, I knew I had to learn how to do it without her. The sad thing is. I couldn't. I would get my weight up and then fall forward and have to step on my left leg and yelp in pain. I keep trying to mentally tell myself the pain isn't there and just try and put weight on it, but it's not working. I'm just getting frustrated. I was teased. Sunday was great. I was almost walking normal and since then I'm just getting more and more sore.
I've had more calf pain on the right leg, so I've been wondering if I could have a DVT, but I don't know. I may call the clinic tomorrow if it's not better.
I thought maybe some of my friends could come by and keep me company, but I was realizing that most of my friends are working or doing stuff this weekend for easter, etc. I'm kinda glad my mom is here. She can help get stuff for me and get me up to get to the bathroom, etc.
I hate not being independent. I hate pain meds. I'm mad I was better and I think I made it worse by doing too much.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
I am a rock, I am an island. And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries. - Simon and Garfunkel, I Am A Rock
Wednesday night, I picked my mom up from the airport. She flew in to help out with me after my surgery. For a while, I kept telling her I was okay and had friends and she didn't need to come, but I'm really glad she did. I have amazing friends that would all be there if they needed to be, but I just never want to call and put them out.
Thursday morning we headed to the hospital to check in. I got changed and sat in the APU waiting for the OR to call for me. Dr. Dickens came by and checked in. That was nice. I didn't think I'd see any of the docs that day. Tanya came by to check on me on her way into work. Eventually, it was time to head over to the OR. Thankfully, it was nice and warm in the pre-op area. We all got in our beds and got warm blankets. My anesthesiologist and nurse came over and we started going through all the paperwork and getting me ready for the OR. I loved the anesthesiologist. He was pretty cool. He asked me if I drink beer, wine or hard liquor. I asked him, "what are you buying?" haha. He liked that. I told him I drink beer more than anything these days and he told me he was giving me my 12 pack and injected something into my IV. They unlocked the bed and asked me to tell them when I felt something. They pulled the bed away from the wall and I told them I was starting to feel something and that anything I said after that point could not be used against me! I vaguely remember getting in the room and getting strapped down and hooked into all the machines and the face mask on and that's it.
I woke up in the PACU with the nurse poking my toes. I could feel it. I woke up pretty easily. No nausea. No spinning feeling. I drank a whole can of ginger ale and felt pretty good. I got back over to the APU and had to have a lot of help getting to the chair. My legs were starting to hurt pretty bad, but I wanted to wait until I got some food in my stomach to take pain meds. Andrew stopped by to see me after the surgery, which was nice to see him.
After I got changed and my meds were picked up, I was ready to go. My momma wheeled me out to my car and we headed home. It took me a LONG time to get all the way to my apartment from my front door. It hurt really bad and I was going very slow.
I haven't really moved from my sleeper sofa or bed much. Only to go to the bathroom and back. It's feeling better than the first day, but still hurts pretty bad to get up. My calves are very swollen and bruised, but it's expected. I'm just so glad to have this part out of the way. A few weeks from now I hope to be up walking more and eventually running without any pain!
I have some great friends! Thank you all for checking in on me and stopping by!
Thursday morning we headed to the hospital to check in. I got changed and sat in the APU waiting for the OR to call for me. Dr. Dickens came by and checked in. That was nice. I didn't think I'd see any of the docs that day. Tanya came by to check on me on her way into work. Eventually, it was time to head over to the OR. Thankfully, it was nice and warm in the pre-op area. We all got in our beds and got warm blankets. My anesthesiologist and nurse came over and we started going through all the paperwork and getting me ready for the OR. I loved the anesthesiologist. He was pretty cool. He asked me if I drink beer, wine or hard liquor. I asked him, "what are you buying?" haha. He liked that. I told him I drink beer more than anything these days and he told me he was giving me my 12 pack and injected something into my IV. They unlocked the bed and asked me to tell them when I felt something. They pulled the bed away from the wall and I told them I was starting to feel something and that anything I said after that point could not be used against me! I vaguely remember getting in the room and getting strapped down and hooked into all the machines and the face mask on and that's it.
I woke up in the PACU with the nurse poking my toes. I could feel it. I woke up pretty easily. No nausea. No spinning feeling. I drank a whole can of ginger ale and felt pretty good. I got back over to the APU and had to have a lot of help getting to the chair. My legs were starting to hurt pretty bad, but I wanted to wait until I got some food in my stomach to take pain meds. Andrew stopped by to see me after the surgery, which was nice to see him.
After I got changed and my meds were picked up, I was ready to go. My momma wheeled me out to my car and we headed home. It took me a LONG time to get all the way to my apartment from my front door. It hurt really bad and I was going very slow.
I haven't really moved from my sleeper sofa or bed much. Only to go to the bathroom and back. It's feeling better than the first day, but still hurts pretty bad to get up. My calves are very swollen and bruised, but it's expected. I'm just so glad to have this part out of the way. A few weeks from now I hope to be up walking more and eventually running without any pain!
I have some great friends! Thank you all for checking in on me and stopping by!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Try to enjoy the here and now, the future will take care of itself somehow. - Howard Jones, Life In One Day
Ever since I learned the difference between a ricer and a rally car, I've wanted one. The sound of the subaru engine is in my head. I can hear it. The deep rumble.
I had an sti rally book in Kuwait. I got to read the story behind the rally car. It was really interesting.
Signing the papers for my lancer OZ, my heart was racing. I had never bought a big purchase like that and I wasn't sure if I would be able to handle it. It was meant to be a practice stick car. Basically, a sporty little compact to practice driving a manual transmission until I could get a faster car. I paid off Trogdor in Kuwait. Now, I came across THIS SUBARU (see the link for the autotrader ad). I wish I never had. So, the pros and cons of buying a 2007 subaru sti.
Pros:
-The price. I can't find a 2007 sti for this low of a price with this low mileage.
-Timing. I'm single. I don't have any major things to pay for. I'm not getting married or saving for babies or anything....no family. Gotta have fun while I'm single before it all becomes about my family.
-It's even black. My favorite car color.
-It's fun! and fast....
-I had an ex tell me I couldn't handle such a fast car. You all know how I react when a boy tells me I can't do something.
-Why wait? I can afford it. I should have fun while I can without any regrets. I don't want this chance to pass me by.
Cons:
-It's a total want. I love my current car....and Trogdor is paid for.
-I can have more money for fun toys on the side. (And sure, savings too. haha)
-Possible speeding tickets.
-Large increase in insurance (However, I turn 25 in May, so it will go down...)
-93 octane gas
In the end, I'm going to probably weigh the options over and over again until the car finally sells. haha. Either that, or maybe they will keep reducing the price and I can buy it in a month or two. I know I'll be the responsible one and wait.
Maybe if the Navy pays my school loans this fall when I apply for our program or maybe when I pick up O-3 next summer.
Geez. I don't know.
I had an sti rally book in Kuwait. I got to read the story behind the rally car. It was really interesting.
Signing the papers for my lancer OZ, my heart was racing. I had never bought a big purchase like that and I wasn't sure if I would be able to handle it. It was meant to be a practice stick car. Basically, a sporty little compact to practice driving a manual transmission until I could get a faster car. I paid off Trogdor in Kuwait. Now, I came across THIS SUBARU (see the link for the autotrader ad). I wish I never had. So, the pros and cons of buying a 2007 subaru sti.
Pros:
-The price. I can't find a 2007 sti for this low of a price with this low mileage.
-Timing. I'm single. I don't have any major things to pay for. I'm not getting married or saving for babies or anything....no family. Gotta have fun while I'm single before it all becomes about my family.
-It's even black. My favorite car color.
-It's fun! and fast....
-I had an ex tell me I couldn't handle such a fast car. You all know how I react when a boy tells me I can't do something.
-Why wait? I can afford it. I should have fun while I can without any regrets. I don't want this chance to pass me by.
Cons:
-It's a total want. I love my current car....and Trogdor is paid for.
-I can have more money for fun toys on the side. (And sure, savings too. haha)
-Possible speeding tickets.
-Large increase in insurance (However, I turn 25 in May, so it will go down...)
-93 octane gas
In the end, I'm going to probably weigh the options over and over again until the car finally sells. haha. Either that, or maybe they will keep reducing the price and I can buy it in a month or two. I know I'll be the responsible one and wait.
Maybe if the Navy pays my school loans this fall when I apply for our program or maybe when I pick up O-3 next summer.
Geez. I don't know.
I get by with a little help from my friends - The Beatles
My friend from college made a video to try and get Ford to let him test drive the new Fiesta. It looks pretty sweet and he's really wanting to drive it early. They had to make a video for the contest and he's trying to get a lot of people to watch. I'm all about helping my friends, so if you wouldn't mind helping me help him....watch the short video. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTCrSMyd5CI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTCrSMyd5CI
Monday, March 23, 2009
Far away, to an infinite world I escape. I'm clear and calm, I'm unafraid. Sunless days, in my sheltered milkyway. In Saturn's rings I feel no pain. -
All of a sudden, you wake up gasping for air, heart pounding, head hurting. You can't breathe.
If you've ever dealt with that, you know what a panic attack is like. I used to have them in high school and a few difficult times in college. It's been a long time since I felt that fear.
Returning from Kuwait was more overwhelming than I thought it would have been. I had been living in a secure little bubble. A compound with gates and security and friends next to me at all times. I didn't have bills, crime, traffic. I worked and enjoyed Kuwaiti sunsets. Sure, it was a hard adjustment to get out there, but once I was settled in I didn't want to come back. I think I enjoyed hiding from the real world as if it didn't exist.
Sure, I missed my friends and my car and going out into DC. For all those reasons, I'm glad to be home, but I'm starting to feel myself losing the battle over stress. I'm not having panic attacks, but I can feel my heart racing and my blood pressure has been high lately. I keep telling myself to stop and breathe. I do all my exercises to calm myself down. Most of the time I know whatever it is that is stressing me out is really no big deal.
I've been praying a lot about this lately. I've been diving into God's word and seeking His guidance. Why do I feel so panicky sometimes. I'm losing sleep. I don't know. I'm thinking about going to see one of the Chaplains at the hospital. Maybe I just need to let it out. Maybe something is bothering me that I am ignoring.
I want Florida. I want the beach and a smoothie and some good 'ole country music. I need to get back south where I feel more at home. All the fast paced life of DC is fun and I enjoy this city tremendously, but I'm ready to get back where I came from. Where people smile and talk slowly and look out for each other.
In April, I will have 6 full months and then I will PCS to Jacksonville.
Good news is, I have my surgery on April 2nd and my mom is coming up for the first part and then I'm flying to Texas for the second part of my convalescent leave. I'll be in Arlington April 15-22nd resting up and having my momma take care of me.
I am so excited about the surgery. I think I will feel much better when I can begin running. I think it's going to be one of the best ways to control my stress.
Even though I wasn't on the frontlines and I was no where near combat, I can see what your body goes through when you return....and it was only 6 months. I wish I had known what it was like a few years ago when I couldn't understand someone who was just returning. Now, I can't even tell him I understand. I guess I did my damage. I'm going to live the rest of my life knowing that I made someone I loved hate me and never want to speak to me again.
Maybe that's the source of my stress.
If you've ever dealt with that, you know what a panic attack is like. I used to have them in high school and a few difficult times in college. It's been a long time since I felt that fear.
Returning from Kuwait was more overwhelming than I thought it would have been. I had been living in a secure little bubble. A compound with gates and security and friends next to me at all times. I didn't have bills, crime, traffic. I worked and enjoyed Kuwaiti sunsets. Sure, it was a hard adjustment to get out there, but once I was settled in I didn't want to come back. I think I enjoyed hiding from the real world as if it didn't exist.
Sure, I missed my friends and my car and going out into DC. For all those reasons, I'm glad to be home, but I'm starting to feel myself losing the battle over stress. I'm not having panic attacks, but I can feel my heart racing and my blood pressure has been high lately. I keep telling myself to stop and breathe. I do all my exercises to calm myself down. Most of the time I know whatever it is that is stressing me out is really no big deal.
I've been praying a lot about this lately. I've been diving into God's word and seeking His guidance. Why do I feel so panicky sometimes. I'm losing sleep. I don't know. I'm thinking about going to see one of the Chaplains at the hospital. Maybe I just need to let it out. Maybe something is bothering me that I am ignoring.
I want Florida. I want the beach and a smoothie and some good 'ole country music. I need to get back south where I feel more at home. All the fast paced life of DC is fun and I enjoy this city tremendously, but I'm ready to get back where I came from. Where people smile and talk slowly and look out for each other.
In April, I will have 6 full months and then I will PCS to Jacksonville.
Good news is, I have my surgery on April 2nd and my mom is coming up for the first part and then I'm flying to Texas for the second part of my convalescent leave. I'll be in Arlington April 15-22nd resting up and having my momma take care of me.
I am so excited about the surgery. I think I will feel much better when I can begin running. I think it's going to be one of the best ways to control my stress.
Even though I wasn't on the frontlines and I was no where near combat, I can see what your body goes through when you return....and it was only 6 months. I wish I had known what it was like a few years ago when I couldn't understand someone who was just returning. Now, I can't even tell him I understand. I guess I did my damage. I'm going to live the rest of my life knowing that I made someone I loved hate me and never want to speak to me again.
Maybe that's the source of my stress.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Chinatown round 2 this weekend
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Mobile blogging
Today I went to chinatown with a long time friend from high school. Then, tonight I saw this really cool band in clarendon with some peeps. That' what the pic is from of brit and I. Good times. Everyone have a great weekend!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Deep within your soul you're losing it. You never took the time assume that you're to blame. - Tantric, Breakdown
It's been a few weeks and I had my routine breakdown. I just get home and start thinking of all the things I need to do and plan out my calendar and get overwhelmed.
Tues: before work, go mail Lyndsy's package at the post office. Then, work til 5. Hair appt at 6:15. Small group at 7:30. Sleep.
Wed: Just work (Thank goodness), but during my day at work I need to
-schedule my PDHA (since the girl is never in the office when I walk over there!)
-call this company online and figure out where my GPS is that I ordered (their callers are only available during the hrs I'm at work. nice, huh?)
-Finish my leave paperwork (since it wasn't "routed up the chain" correctly, I'm now having to wait while it sits on my dept head's desk)...oh, and just this one sheet of paper requires a TON of leg work around the hospital.
Thurs: Early meeting at 0700 with the Deputy of something or other.....I have no idea who chose me for this or why, but I guess it's a good thing. Another new experience and more face time. Then, work 9-5.
Friday: Work 9-5 (also coordinate the visit of my lady friend from the cystic fibrosis office to come and recruit walkers for my team at 10 and 2.) Friday night, SEE TANYA! I never see any of my friends anymore. :(
Saturday: Museum and lunch possibly, then meeting up with a friend from out of town that I haven't seen in almost a year and then going to a concert in Alexandria.
Sunday: church, clean apartment, do laundry, church
DO it all over again.
Nothing is easy. As I was speed walking all over the freakin hospital trying to get my leave chit signed, I kept thinking about how if I was a civilian nurse, I wouldn't be dealing with this. Then, apparently, I can't leave it in my dept head's mailbox. It has to be in a blue folder. I'm not sure what conctract this blue folder company has with the Navy, but they are doing their job! The blue folder makers will never run out of business with the Navy still intact. I'm not sure what a blue folder does to a leave chit, but whatever.
My first dept head was awesome. He would have us fill out the leave chit and he would do it all! He would get the R status stamp, sign it and get the leave control number! The next one had me run around and do it all myself, but usually was cool with me getting a copy and sliding it under her door. This one wants it in a blue folder and routed "correctly" through my divo.
Then, there is the nurses slide show. Last year and this year I volunteered for it. I always think it will be easier and I will just be able to run around and snap a few photos and have fun throwing it together. Nope. Never that easy. There is always more I want to add or should add and I still have to fit the video to 5-8 min or so. PLUS. I'm going to be on con leave for almost all of April. Not sure when I will get these pictures of everyone. Why do I volunteer for this stuff? It's never a simple little video that I just throw together.....
Also, worrying about what our church young adult group can do for a mission work in the city. I have to help with our international lunch we're having later this month. I just don't have time for this stuff! I love being involved in church and lately have been doing this more and more, but it's starting to add another pile of stress.
Not to forget to mention the cystic fibrosis walk. I'm an IDIOT and not only volunteered to walk in it, but volunteered to run a team! What on earth was I thinking???? I have to plan to have the woman from the CF office come talk to nurses at the hospital to recruit walkers since no one signs up when I send them email links.
So, right now it's all just looming down on me. I'm going to give it Jacksonville. I'm going to give it another duty station away from Bethesda. It's just too big and too overwhelming. I can't keep going at this pace. I'll never lower my blood pressure (which, yes is already a problem and I'm only 24) or find a man. haha.
Tues: before work, go mail Lyndsy's package at the post office. Then, work til 5. Hair appt at 6:15. Small group at 7:30. Sleep.
Wed: Just work (Thank goodness), but during my day at work I need to
-schedule my PDHA (since the girl is never in the office when I walk over there!)
-call this company online and figure out where my GPS is that I ordered (their callers are only available during the hrs I'm at work. nice, huh?)
-Finish my leave paperwork (since it wasn't "routed up the chain" correctly, I'm now having to wait while it sits on my dept head's desk)...oh, and just this one sheet of paper requires a TON of leg work around the hospital.
Thurs: Early meeting at 0700 with the Deputy of something or other.....I have no idea who chose me for this or why, but I guess it's a good thing. Another new experience and more face time. Then, work 9-5.
Friday: Work 9-5 (also coordinate the visit of my lady friend from the cystic fibrosis office to come and recruit walkers for my team at 10 and 2.) Friday night, SEE TANYA! I never see any of my friends anymore. :(
Saturday: Museum and lunch possibly, then meeting up with a friend from out of town that I haven't seen in almost a year and then going to a concert in Alexandria.
Sunday: church, clean apartment, do laundry, church
DO it all over again.
Nothing is easy. As I was speed walking all over the freakin hospital trying to get my leave chit signed, I kept thinking about how if I was a civilian nurse, I wouldn't be dealing with this. Then, apparently, I can't leave it in my dept head's mailbox. It has to be in a blue folder. I'm not sure what conctract this blue folder company has with the Navy, but they are doing their job! The blue folder makers will never run out of business with the Navy still intact. I'm not sure what a blue folder does to a leave chit, but whatever.
My first dept head was awesome. He would have us fill out the leave chit and he would do it all! He would get the R status stamp, sign it and get the leave control number! The next one had me run around and do it all myself, but usually was cool with me getting a copy and sliding it under her door. This one wants it in a blue folder and routed "correctly" through my divo.
Then, there is the nurses slide show. Last year and this year I volunteered for it. I always think it will be easier and I will just be able to run around and snap a few photos and have fun throwing it together. Nope. Never that easy. There is always more I want to add or should add and I still have to fit the video to 5-8 min or so. PLUS. I'm going to be on con leave for almost all of April. Not sure when I will get these pictures of everyone. Why do I volunteer for this stuff? It's never a simple little video that I just throw together.....
Also, worrying about what our church young adult group can do for a mission work in the city. I have to help with our international lunch we're having later this month. I just don't have time for this stuff! I love being involved in church and lately have been doing this more and more, but it's starting to add another pile of stress.
Not to forget to mention the cystic fibrosis walk. I'm an IDIOT and not only volunteered to walk in it, but volunteered to run a team! What on earth was I thinking???? I have to plan to have the woman from the CF office come talk to nurses at the hospital to recruit walkers since no one signs up when I send them email links.
So, right now it's all just looming down on me. I'm going to give it Jacksonville. I'm going to give it another duty station away from Bethesda. It's just too big and too overwhelming. I can't keep going at this pace. I'll never lower my blood pressure (which, yes is already a problem and I'm only 24) or find a man. haha.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Do your best, do everything you can, and don't you worry what their bitter hearts are going to say. - Jimmy Eat World, The Middle
I miss the simplicity of Kuwait. I miss my routine there. I miss all the time in the world to work out and visit with friends. I miss not having to worry about bills, cleaning, all the projects and collaterals around the hospital. I miss my friends from Kuwait.
On the other hand, I have started to get back in the swing of the busy life back here in DC. Today, I went to church, met up with Andrew for lunch at the mall with his kiddos and then went shopping. After this, I'm going to sit down to write my mission statement for the online college I'm applying for and will spread the word of our storytelling project on facebook and myspace. I did my taxes. I've fixed up my apartment. I've been attending meetings at work and I'm finishing up orientation on a new floor. I started a cystic fibrosis walk team for May. I'm set for my surgery in April. I've started playing around with ideas for the nursing slideshow for May. I also manage to have a life and go on a date or meet up with friends downtown. Life is busy, but good.
My main goal for the Navy. I want a ship. I want to be on a carrier. I've been watching "Carrier", which was a reality show from PBS following the crew of the Nimitz a few years ago. I want to feel like I'm in the Navy. In order to do this I need to be an OR or ICU nurse, really. Maybe ER possibly. I'm trying to work my way into the ICU. I really wish I could have extended here in order to have the time to transfer to Bethesda's ICU. It would have been such a great learning experience. They are a busy unit and I would have seen ALL kinds of things. But, no. The Navy needed me in the APU (ambulatory procedure unit). That was the last place I ever thought they would place me. It's the furthest thing from bedside nursing or the ICU. I'm still a little burned on how the process worked and that I wasn't involved AT ALL on the decision to transfer to a new floor. I wanted to stay on 5 center, since I couldn't move to the unit. Well, then I'm a few weeks from coming home and they tell me I'm going to the APU. wow. That was a shock. I'll roll with it because it's temporary, but I hope that my command will understand and let me take classes or "shadow" in the ICU if possible. I want to go to Jacksonville being able to say that I've done all I can to try and progress into a critical care setting. I signed up for a wound and ostomy course and I hope I will actually be able to go with our schedule being so tight.
I made a meeting with one of our senior LT's the other day to sit down and pick his brain on how to get where I want to go. I'm going to try it. I'm trying to keep my eyes out for classes and opportunities to get some experience where I really want to be. I haven't picked up my stethoscope since I got to the APU. You just don't really use it. A quick focused assessment and sending people out the door with paperwork. It's important and I try really hard to do good teaching, but still. All the nurses on our floor, besides 1 or 2 are just looking to transition out and become a housewife. I don't belong there.
I know in the end that the reason I joined the service was to give up part of my life to go where they needed me. Makes me think of when Jonas avoided God's call to go spread the word and he got eaten by the whale. I'm hoping to avoid being eaten. :)
As John Michael Montgomery said, "Life's a dance. You learn as you go. Sometimes you lead. Sometimes you follow."
On the other hand, I have started to get back in the swing of the busy life back here in DC. Today, I went to church, met up with Andrew for lunch at the mall with his kiddos and then went shopping. After this, I'm going to sit down to write my mission statement for the online college I'm applying for and will spread the word of our storytelling project on facebook and myspace. I did my taxes. I've fixed up my apartment. I've been attending meetings at work and I'm finishing up orientation on a new floor. I started a cystic fibrosis walk team for May. I'm set for my surgery in April. I've started playing around with ideas for the nursing slideshow for May. I also manage to have a life and go on a date or meet up with friends downtown. Life is busy, but good.
My main goal for the Navy. I want a ship. I want to be on a carrier. I've been watching "Carrier", which was a reality show from PBS following the crew of the Nimitz a few years ago. I want to feel like I'm in the Navy. In order to do this I need to be an OR or ICU nurse, really. Maybe ER possibly. I'm trying to work my way into the ICU. I really wish I could have extended here in order to have the time to transfer to Bethesda's ICU. It would have been such a great learning experience. They are a busy unit and I would have seen ALL kinds of things. But, no. The Navy needed me in the APU (ambulatory procedure unit). That was the last place I ever thought they would place me. It's the furthest thing from bedside nursing or the ICU. I'm still a little burned on how the process worked and that I wasn't involved AT ALL on the decision to transfer to a new floor. I wanted to stay on 5 center, since I couldn't move to the unit. Well, then I'm a few weeks from coming home and they tell me I'm going to the APU. wow. That was a shock. I'll roll with it because it's temporary, but I hope that my command will understand and let me take classes or "shadow" in the ICU if possible. I want to go to Jacksonville being able to say that I've done all I can to try and progress into a critical care setting. I signed up for a wound and ostomy course and I hope I will actually be able to go with our schedule being so tight.
I made a meeting with one of our senior LT's the other day to sit down and pick his brain on how to get where I want to go. I'm going to try it. I'm trying to keep my eyes out for classes and opportunities to get some experience where I really want to be. I haven't picked up my stethoscope since I got to the APU. You just don't really use it. A quick focused assessment and sending people out the door with paperwork. It's important and I try really hard to do good teaching, but still. All the nurses on our floor, besides 1 or 2 are just looking to transition out and become a housewife. I don't belong there.
I know in the end that the reason I joined the service was to give up part of my life to go where they needed me. Makes me think of when Jonas avoided God's call to go spread the word and he got eaten by the whale. I'm hoping to avoid being eaten. :)
As John Michael Montgomery said, "Life's a dance. You learn as you go. Sometimes you lead. Sometimes you follow."
Thursday, February 12, 2009
The ones that you're calling wild are going to be the leaders in a little while. - Johnny Cash, What Is Truth
For a short history of BUMED, check out this page.
I have not been able to get pictures to post on this blog, so for now, you can view these photos from my facebook album.
Today was a special day in my Navy nursing career. Our director of nursing services had bid on a tour of BUMED (Navy Bureau of Medicine and Surgery) and lunch with the Navy Surgeon General, Admiral Robinson. Also included was a sit down discussion with the Admiral of the Nurse Corps, Admiral Bruzek-Kohler. She picked six junior nurses from Bethesda to attend the tour, lunch and discussion. I happened to be one of the lucky ones! We were told by her that it was because of our contributions that we have done for the hospital over the past year. I almost wish I did more. I wish there were more hours in the day!
After I worked for a few hours trying to discharge some patients that stayed overnight, I met the five other nurses downstairs in the lobby. We had a van drive us and our Director, another Captain and another woman to BUMED down in the Foggy Bottom area of DC. It's right up the street from the Lincoln memorial. (About 2 blocks away)
Our first stop was the main building, which was the originial Naval Observatory. We got a personal tour by Jan Herman. He is a naval historian with an office at BUMED. It was so interesting! He showed us where the first telescope used to be and described a story in which President Lincoln stoped by one night, one and a half month after Gettysburg, to have some quiet time and view the stars. During this story, Mr. Herman told us that we have now talked to a man, who talked to a man, who talked to a man, who talked to a man, who talked to a man, who talked to a man, who talked to Abraham Lincoln. This was a story in which Mr. Herman spoke with the great great grandchild of Asaph Hall, who was an astronomer who was the man working when Lincoln stopped by that night.
After our tour, we went over and met ADM Robinson, the US Navy Surgeon General. He was our Commanding Officer when I got to Bethesda, but has since been promoted. He is a great inspiration. Loves the Navy, loves the Navy people and loves medicine. We were all ready to ask him questions and he surprised all of us when he asked us what we would change about nursing in the navy, if we could. This spurred up lots of discussion amongst us all and we all enjoyed the time. It was wonderful food, wonderful talk and something I will remember for a long time.
Then, we went over to meet Admiral Bruzek-Kohler. We all liked her because she was very to the point. We could ask questions and discuss items about nursing and our careers and she would give us a straight answer. I think we all walked away with a lot more knowledge.
I hope some day I can be in a position to mentor and lead younger Navy Nurses. I don't know if I would ever get to that position, but I hope that at the end of my career, I can look back and see contributions and leave my mark in the Nurse Corps.
I can't imagine if I had not joined the Navy and had never done any of the things I've been able to do in just a little over two years!
I have not been able to get pictures to post on this blog, so for now, you can view these photos from my facebook album.
Today was a special day in my Navy nursing career. Our director of nursing services had bid on a tour of BUMED (Navy Bureau of Medicine and Surgery) and lunch with the Navy Surgeon General, Admiral Robinson. Also included was a sit down discussion with the Admiral of the Nurse Corps, Admiral Bruzek-Kohler. She picked six junior nurses from Bethesda to attend the tour, lunch and discussion. I happened to be one of the lucky ones! We were told by her that it was because of our contributions that we have done for the hospital over the past year. I almost wish I did more. I wish there were more hours in the day!
After I worked for a few hours trying to discharge some patients that stayed overnight, I met the five other nurses downstairs in the lobby. We had a van drive us and our Director, another Captain and another woman to BUMED down in the Foggy Bottom area of DC. It's right up the street from the Lincoln memorial. (About 2 blocks away)
Our first stop was the main building, which was the originial Naval Observatory. We got a personal tour by Jan Herman. He is a naval historian with an office at BUMED. It was so interesting! He showed us where the first telescope used to be and described a story in which President Lincoln stoped by one night, one and a half month after Gettysburg, to have some quiet time and view the stars. During this story, Mr. Herman told us that we have now talked to a man, who talked to a man, who talked to a man, who talked to a man, who talked to a man, who talked to a man, who talked to Abraham Lincoln. This was a story in which Mr. Herman spoke with the great great grandchild of Asaph Hall, who was an astronomer who was the man working when Lincoln stopped by that night.
After our tour, we went over and met ADM Robinson, the US Navy Surgeon General. He was our Commanding Officer when I got to Bethesda, but has since been promoted. He is a great inspiration. Loves the Navy, loves the Navy people and loves medicine. We were all ready to ask him questions and he surprised all of us when he asked us what we would change about nursing in the navy, if we could. This spurred up lots of discussion amongst us all and we all enjoyed the time. It was wonderful food, wonderful talk and something I will remember for a long time.
Then, we went over to meet Admiral Bruzek-Kohler. We all liked her because she was very to the point. We could ask questions and discuss items about nursing and our careers and she would give us a straight answer. I think we all walked away with a lot more knowledge.
I hope some day I can be in a position to mentor and lead younger Navy Nurses. I don't know if I would ever get to that position, but I hope that at the end of my career, I can look back and see contributions and leave my mark in the Nurse Corps.
I can't imagine if I had not joined the Navy and had never done any of the things I've been able to do in just a little over two years!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I get lost, sometimes. Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart. - Peter Gabriel, In Your Eyes
At times something feels empty. I've been home and having a great time! I've put some new pictures up of some random get togethers. I just....I don't know. I miss how close everyone was in Kuwait. It was our small little world. Nothing outside it really mattered. Coming back to DC and Bethesda, you feel you get lost in the numbers.
Just the other day, I accidentally sent something to lab that I meant to send to blood bank. I called the lab as soon as I sent it and asked if they could just send it back to me so I could get it to the right place. We had a ton of people in the waiting room so I was really busy. The corpsmen were rude and refused to send it back. They told me I could come down and get it. I really should have asked to see their LPO, but I was so mad I was afraid I'd lose it. It just made me miss my corpsmen in Kuwait. We all helped each other out. We were a team. One group. Bethesda is all about getting ahead on your own. Now, I am going to miss a lot about this area. It's been great to get involved. I'm excited about going to BUMED, lunch with the Surgeon General on Thursday and our history project! I'm not going to have those opportunities in Jacksonville. I will have more sun though.
I really am not happy on my floor. How this all went down really hurt me. I can't believe I would volunteer to go on deployment and then they wouldn't even tell me I was going to a new floor or ask where I would want to go. Everyone here stays on their floor until they find an opening somewhere they want to go. I was the only person who ever wanted to stay on 5 center. Oh well. There must be a reason and I'll try and bloom where I'm put, but I even asked my dept head to keep me updated and that never happened.
I'll stop at that and let you check out these videos. There are 3. One from each year that I've gone snowboarding. Check out how much better I've gotten!
I could barely stay up the first day...
A little better on that one. The second year.
Look at me now! On an intermediate slope and all. :)
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
So long to all my pain, good night to my heartache. Goodbye sorrow, I won't cry no more, I'm leaving tomorrow. - Brandy, Tomorrow
That video shows what they did to test my compartments in my leg. Mine were in the front and side though. It makes me cringe to watch the video. It hurt. Bad. I could handle it, but if they tried to do it again I would tell them they were crazy.
I had my ortho appt today to measure my muscle compartments in my leg. There are 4 comparments in your lower leg that can swell too much during exercise and cause problems. Mine turn out to be the anterior (front) and lateral (side).
During rest they take an 18g needle and stick it into your muscle and measure the pressure the muscle puts on the fascia around it. It felt like my past piercings. I can handle pain, but I was still nervous. They didn't numb my skin because they said it doesn't do much anyway. You can feel it go into the skin, but then you feel it pop into your muscle. They do a stick per compartment/per leg. Then, they have you work out (I ran on the treadmill for a mile and a half until the pain was unbearable) and came back and they stuck me again. The pressures were above 30mmHg, so they were a diagnostic postive. The doctor even said just looking and feeling my legs, you could see how tight the muscles were. He said, done deal and we'll schedule the surgery to fix it! It really hurt.....I won't lie. I tolerated it, but I would NOT want to do it again.
Next, I just wait for the nurse to call and schedule my appt. I'm soooo excited. I just can't wait to be able to be done with this pain. No burning or tightness when walking fast, or snowboarding, or running! It has been 8 years. I won't know what to do with myself.
I almost cried when I was talking to the doctor about it. I'm just so happy. I don't think people understand, but when I ran on the treadmill today when I got to 1.5 miles, I couldn't even walk right. I had foot drop and the muscles hurt so bad I was shaking and almost started crying.
Soon it will all be in the past!
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