Jasmine. She's the oldest pet I had. She died today. I think we got her when I was about 8 or 9. She was a very old kitty.
Anytime I went home she would come running when I called for her. As she got older she could be cranky, but not with me. My mom said the past couple weeks she took her outside and made her comfortable. I'm glad she was there for her. I wasn't.
I'm going to change subjects for a minute. It's the other thing that has been bothering me today. I'm never there for anything. I think I'm going to have to get used to that if I'm going to make the Navy a career. What if something happened to a friend or a family member?
I shouldn't be thinking about this now. I feel like sometimes the dream of what I thought being a Navy nurse isn't what it really is. I just have up and down days and today is a down day. I feel like so many people I should look up to let me down, but I know that would happen outside the navy also. It just seems if you're sacrificing so much that there should be something else.
If I had wanted to make the navy a career, I'm really thinking I should have done something besides medicine. In our corps, a LTJG means nada. On the line side if I were on a ship or something, I'd actually have more seniority. Ah well.
I've seen this happen to my friends and people I knew that were very oohrah. They were all deployed and the wind was taken out of their sails. (so to speak) I think people have just forgotten how to have fun and still get the job done. You can see it beat out of people. I'm refusing. I'm refusing to give in and let it win. I will make a difference. I will try and keep the dream of the nurse corps alive.
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