Since it's memorial weekend, I figured I'd talk about how all my friends and I are off getting to experience the "adventure" side of the Navy.
A lot has changed for all of us since we graduated Romeo class in October of 2006! Some of my close friends are now LTJG's!! I'll no longer be Ensign Kumpunen on August 12th! I'll get to say LTJG Kumpunen. Weeeeird. And the pay jump is pretty significant for this one. :) Plus, I'll be on deployment, so even more ways to save some money. I know there was a reason I didn't get on those earlier deployments like I wanted to. God always has that plan ready.
In the past month or so, many of my friends have started off on their experiences:
LTJG Meyer (my roommie from OIS): She got last minute orders to report to Bremerton, Washington (outside Seattle) and be stationed on a ship. Can't remember which carrier. My bad. Anywho, she had a cross country journey to Washington. So fun to see the pictures. Since she reported to the ship, she's been sent to San Diego to do additional training. Lucky girl. I know it's a stressful situation being brand new on a carrier! She has a lot to do as an officer and I know she'll be great and I think she's enjoying it, but kinda scary. She's an industrial hygienist, so she's does inspections all over, etc. It's kinda neat hearing about her job.
LTJG Smith (3w nurse nnmc): She got orders to the USNS Mercy!!! I'm so jealous! She flew out to San Diego and met them in Guam. The hospital ship is doing a humanitarian mission all over the Pacific. They will see some amazing things and places. Here's a link to the captain's blog: http://mercycaptain.blogspot.com/. He's a civilian, but you still understand.
ENS Conrad (5w nurse nnmc): Brit got orders to Djibouti, Africa! She's stationed there at a military clinic for a lot of the special forces, etc. It's close by Somalia. She got to spend some time in Cali also and even took a few days to Vegas when they had liberty. I hope I get to do that too! Here's her blog: http://web.mac.com/nursbrit/iWeb/Site/Welcome.html
Me (5c nurse nnmc): I get to leave for Kuwait in less than a month!!! I go on leave the 2nd of June and I'll fly back to DC on the 20th, only to leave for training in Cali on the 22nd. Then, I should be in Kuwait mid July. I am so excited. You have no idea. Obviously, you know my blog. haha.
Anywho, it's so amazing to see all of my friends and I spreading our Navy wings and getting out in the fleet! For a long time I just wanted to feel what it would be like to be away from Bethesda. It's not the same experience here. Very brass. Lots of little stuff to worry about. I hear anywhere else in the fleet, you can kick back more and have a ton of fun. That's just what I'm wanting to do! I love getting emails from all these girls and telling me the amazing things they are doing these days and all the new things they are learning about field medicine, humanitarian missions, shipboard life, training, etc. Now my friends and I are literally all around the world! This is so awesome. This seriously was the best decision I ever made and I only wish some of my other friends back home could join in!
Have a happy and safe memorial day!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Going to jail accused of being a peeping tom. - Parliament, Little Old Country Boy
So, when someone contemplates joining the service, they don't need to ask themselves these questions:
1. Am I tough enough?
2. Can I make it through training?
3. Can I stay up to physical standards?
4. Will I be okay with moving every few years?
5. Will I be okay with people telling me what to do?
6. Do I mind putting myself in harms way?
7. Am I okay with someone controlling my life and being in a contract that I cannot get out of?
8. Will I be fine with living on a ship, in a tent, in barracks, etc?
9. Can I wear the uniform with pride?
10. Do I mind moving somewhere I don't want to move if they tell me to?
They only need to ask themselves this ONE QUESTION....
Am I okay with having someone watch me pee for a drug test?
I swear. This to me is harder than running my PRT. I had to drink so much water at MEPS so that I could go. Maybe for guys it's not that big of a deal. You guys do it all the time. We girls. We have our own little room to do our business. And it's even more difficult when you're having to aim into a little cup. Guys have major control over that.
I have gone for a random urinalysis soooooo many times at this command. This month marks the second time that I've been here that I've had to go 2 times in one month. It had to do with a "sweep" of the entire command this past week. I drank so much water before I went that I thought my bladder would explode. But, it makes it easier so I can just get in and out as fast as I can.
But, it's the most strange thing ever. They stand there and have to stare at you. Just leaving the stall door open is weird.
Just had to share my feelings about it. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it.
1. Am I tough enough?
2. Can I make it through training?
3. Can I stay up to physical standards?
4. Will I be okay with moving every few years?
5. Will I be okay with people telling me what to do?
6. Do I mind putting myself in harms way?
7. Am I okay with someone controlling my life and being in a contract that I cannot get out of?
8. Will I be fine with living on a ship, in a tent, in barracks, etc?
9. Can I wear the uniform with pride?
10. Do I mind moving somewhere I don't want to move if they tell me to?
They only need to ask themselves this ONE QUESTION....
Am I okay with having someone watch me pee for a drug test?
I swear. This to me is harder than running my PRT. I had to drink so much water at MEPS so that I could go. Maybe for guys it's not that big of a deal. You guys do it all the time. We girls. We have our own little room to do our business. And it's even more difficult when you're having to aim into a little cup. Guys have major control over that.
I have gone for a random urinalysis soooooo many times at this command. This month marks the second time that I've been here that I've had to go 2 times in one month. It had to do with a "sweep" of the entire command this past week. I drank so much water before I went that I thought my bladder would explode. But, it makes it easier so I can just get in and out as fast as I can.
But, it's the most strange thing ever. They stand there and have to stare at you. Just leaving the stall door open is weird.
Just had to share my feelings about it. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Hold the candle in your heart to shine the light on hidden parts. - Garbage, Cherry Lips
Here's this year's video I had to do for the candle light service. One of these days I'll get a good program to put together a great video, but I get so busy, that I just want it to get done. There were a TON more videos this year, so it was hard to fit them all in the song. Also, that's not my finger in a lot of those pictures! hahaha.
These are all the military, civilian, and contract nurses throughout our hospital and clinics.
It was a lot more fun taking them this year because I know more people around the hospital.
Anywho, enjoy.
Monday, May 12, 2008
On a place they call the planet Earth, my orders are to sit here and watch the world go by. - Electric Light Orchestra, Mission
I got my official orders for Kuwait today. :) I leave D.C. on June 22nd and my estimated date of return is January 8th, 2009. Weird.
On our schedule for the floor it has me listed for 5 days of work then "LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLdepdepdepdepdepdepdep", etc.
L=leave (in Tejas)
dep=deployment
That's how it will be on the schedule until January of 2009. Crazy! It's all real now. I'm looking forward to the change of scenery. I'm looking forward to getting away from some drama that is starting to creep up at work. I'm looking forward to getting away from bogus admissions and endless chart checks. I'm looking forward to a few weeks in California! I'm looking forward to wearing sports bras and camis every day. Not... haha. I'll probably be so sick of wearing the same thing every single day for 6 months. I can't imagine doing it for a year and a half.
All around I'm just excited to start a new, but small chapter in my life. I hope to learn a lot about myself, the navy, and other cultures.
Okay, that all being said. Here's my tentative plan for leave in Tejas:
June 3rd: parents fly in
4th: move into storage and start the drive back home
5th: arrive in Arlington, TX
6-8th: camping/tubing in New Braunfels (including Robert Earl Keen concert Saturday and a stop for breakfast/lunch in Austin on Sunday)
9th-14th: Arlington
14th: stop in Austin to see some friends before going to Beth and Adam's wedding in Driftwood. Then, on to Houston to stay with my sis
15-17th: Houston
17-20th: Arlington
20th: fly back to DC
22nd: fly to Cali!
Life has been so busy since the beginning of March and I really want this leave to be peaceful. SO, if any of you start giving me a hard time about not getting to see me a lot on my leave and guilting me...I'm just going to walk away. I'll do my best, but I'm already driving all over the state to see people, so I'm not going to spend my free days driving all over the DFW area. I can't wait to come home for a while and see everyone!
I just got my smallpox site checked today, my 3rd anthrax shot, and my battle record up to date today.
The only thing that stinks is that Tanya's in the hospital. :( Poor thing. Long story of complications from when she was really sick as a kid and now she had to have emergency surgery and it is a day by day thing. She's def doing better than she was a few days ago, but still. I hate seeing her sick. I helped wash her hair today. I'll be in to see her tomorrow. I've been able to stop in on her every day so far. I'm glad I work right there. She's my best friend up here. I hate that she's not feeling well. I hope she can get out soon so we can hang out before I leave. If you guys can, please say a prayer they don't have to take her back into surgery and that her wound heals fast and well.
On our schedule for the floor it has me listed for 5 days of work then "LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLdepdepdepdepdepdepdep", etc.
L=leave (in Tejas)
dep=deployment
That's how it will be on the schedule until January of 2009. Crazy! It's all real now. I'm looking forward to the change of scenery. I'm looking forward to getting away from some drama that is starting to creep up at work. I'm looking forward to getting away from bogus admissions and endless chart checks. I'm looking forward to a few weeks in California! I'm looking forward to wearing sports bras and camis every day. Not... haha. I'll probably be so sick of wearing the same thing every single day for 6 months. I can't imagine doing it for a year and a half.
All around I'm just excited to start a new, but small chapter in my life. I hope to learn a lot about myself, the navy, and other cultures.
Okay, that all being said. Here's my tentative plan for leave in Tejas:
June 3rd: parents fly in
4th: move into storage and start the drive back home
5th: arrive in Arlington, TX
6-8th: camping/tubing in New Braunfels (including Robert Earl Keen concert Saturday and a stop for breakfast/lunch in Austin on Sunday)
9th-14th: Arlington
14th: stop in Austin to see some friends before going to Beth and Adam's wedding in Driftwood. Then, on to Houston to stay with my sis
15-17th: Houston
17-20th: Arlington
20th: fly back to DC
22nd: fly to Cali!
Life has been so busy since the beginning of March and I really want this leave to be peaceful. SO, if any of you start giving me a hard time about not getting to see me a lot on my leave and guilting me...I'm just going to walk away. I'll do my best, but I'm already driving all over the state to see people, so I'm not going to spend my free days driving all over the DFW area. I can't wait to come home for a while and see everyone!
I just got my smallpox site checked today, my 3rd anthrax shot, and my battle record up to date today.
The only thing that stinks is that Tanya's in the hospital. :( Poor thing. Long story of complications from when she was really sick as a kid and now she had to have emergency surgery and it is a day by day thing. She's def doing better than she was a few days ago, but still. I hate seeing her sick. I helped wash her hair today. I'll be in to see her tomorrow. I've been able to stop in on her every day so far. I'm glad I work right there. She's my best friend up here. I hate that she's not feeling well. I hope she can get out soon so we can hang out before I leave. If you guys can, please say a prayer they don't have to take her back into surgery and that her wound heals fast and well.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
You better let somebody love you before it's too late. - The Eagles, Desperado
A long time ago someone special sent me a Jimmy Eat World cd and I listened to this song over and over. It came on my itunes tonight and as I watched the rain and storm outside, I began to realize that this song means so much more now than ever. I couldn't find the actual music video, so I'll just use this one, but I didn't want to put just the lyrics.
I just finished reading a book with my church small group and it was a difficult read. The author pushed me and made me think things I never would have thought or believed. Now that I've finished it, I can see what I've learned from it all.
I've already caught myself being a typical girl about guys. I'm learning to stop and not let my heart get wrapped into something that is not right. Normally, after one call or one message or something, I would get so excited and think that maybe God was sending me someone. It's not true. It's nothing. It's nothing until God says it is something and until He brings him to me. Until then, there must still be a reason he wants me to be on my own. This past week so many people have questioned me on how I'm still single. I don't know why. Why do people ask?? I just tell them that God hasn't sent me my forever.
Some of my guy friends that are married have told me that I have amazing qualities and they don't believe that I'm still single after all this time and being so young. Ya, well.
Then, I had a fellow nurse say the same thing. Again, what do they want me to say? I have a good time on my own. I think that is why I'm overall so happy. haha. I just really feel like God is teaching me a lot and having me grow. Plus, He must still be working on my future love.
So, until then, I'll lay down, listen to this song, remember those feelings of what it was like to be in love and cherish the memories of loves past, but focus on what is ahead of me and what God is doing in my life right now.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past, you must fight just to keep them alive. - Survivor, Eye Of The Tiger
Saturday night had to be one of the best nights of my life. I met amazing men and women that have stood up and been courageous and fought to take care of our military men and women. They fought to get the nurse corps established in 1908. They fought to get an Admiral spot in the navy. They fought to allow men to be in the nurse corps. They fought to keep tradition and stories for all of us.I'm truly honored to have been able to sit in the same room with all these retired and active duty navy nurses. To hear stories from senators and other people, like Bob Woodruff, who were treated by navy nurses was touching. To hear from the retired captains I talked to that spoke to me about WWII, Korea, Vietnam, etc, was inspiring. To be wearing the same uniform as all these other bright eyed ensigns that chose to not only sacrifice to take care of others, but to also sacrifice their life for their country and navy, it just....there are no words. I'm proud of us, Nurse Corps.
I hope that I can stay in the 20 years. I know the memories, stories, friends (who are all instantly family) will stay with me the rest of my life. I know that this was the best decision for my life and that God really had his hand in the middle of all of this.
I want to thank my friends back home who all support, love, call me, and are just overall there for me when I'm homesick and I question if this hard life is really what I should be doing. I want to thank my friends here that have become so close to my heart. You guys are like my brothers and sisters. I wouldn't be able to see the amazing things that this world can bring without you all. We do the impossible sometimes. No matter our backgrounds or differences, we all love each other the same.
Happy 100th, Nurse Corps!!! GO Navy!
More pics can be found at my picasa (http://picasaweb.google.com/ckumpunen) or on facebook.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
When the working day is done, girls they just want to have fun. - Cyndi Lauper, Girls Just Want To Have Fun
Ho hum. I'm working right now. I just realized that I can write blog messages on the computers here at the hospital. I also just found out that I can check my gmail, yahoo, myspace, and whatever other websites that are blocked here, on my cell phone.
What? It's been a productful night shift. We did our bi-monthly crash cart drill and inventory. We made our own cold stone in the back report room with ice cream, sprinkles, whip cream, etc. I filled out a survey for my deployment online. We signed some going away cards for people.
I had gotten stressed out last weekend. Everything seemed to pile up and I was looking at everything that is coming up in the next few months and it was overwhelming. Now, I'm just trying to take a breath and be cool. One day at a time. This morning I have to go weigh in for the PRT and Friday morning (after my night shift) I have to run my PRT. I'm getting nervous. But, the good news is that I should be getting my new ipod today in the mail and I have a special playlist for the PRT. I think it'll keep me going.
I'm craving cake. Or a candy bar. Good news is, we're having a going away party for some people this morning, so a lot of people are bringing food in. :) I'll go weigh in first before I pig out! Then, can't forget to pick up cat food on my way home. Then, sleep and come back up tonight. Not too bad of a day. If tonight's shift is anything like this one is, it won't be a problem.
Let's see. I'm gonna find something of significance to talk about. I have just been talking about nothing.
Ha. Go figure. I go to cnn.com and the first story to catch my attention is this one:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/science/04/30/dinosaur.dung.ap/index.html
130-million-year-old poop sells for $960
So much for talking about something of significance. Now, I'm learning all about old dinosaur dung.
Ah. Here we go: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/conditions/04/28/hm.fatigue/index.html
Fatigue is more than just plain tired
For a couple weeks now I have just been flat out exhausted. I've been thinking I need to get my thyroid checked. My mom, both grandmothers, sister, and now my brother are all diagnosed with hypothyroidism. There are other reasons why, but still. I should look into it. That just means another doc appt. I'm tired of coming into work on my days off. But, as the article shows... I shouldn't just push away feeling fatigued. I used to have so much energy on nights that I would wake up hours early and work out and still feel rested. Now, I skip the gym many times and I wake up with the alarm and still feel exhausted. I don't know. It might just be everything going on. After this weekend, things should come down a bit.
I'm excited though. Friday night at cancun cantina with a bunch of the nurses at the hospital and then Saturday night is the 100th Navy Nurse Corps birthday ball. :)
It's gonna be a good weekend!
What? It's been a productful night shift. We did our bi-monthly crash cart drill and inventory. We made our own cold stone in the back report room with ice cream, sprinkles, whip cream, etc. I filled out a survey for my deployment online. We signed some going away cards for people.
I had gotten stressed out last weekend. Everything seemed to pile up and I was looking at everything that is coming up in the next few months and it was overwhelming. Now, I'm just trying to take a breath and be cool. One day at a time. This morning I have to go weigh in for the PRT and Friday morning (after my night shift) I have to run my PRT. I'm getting nervous. But, the good news is that I should be getting my new ipod today in the mail and I have a special playlist for the PRT. I think it'll keep me going.
I'm craving cake. Or a candy bar. Good news is, we're having a going away party for some people this morning, so a lot of people are bringing food in. :) I'll go weigh in first before I pig out! Then, can't forget to pick up cat food on my way home. Then, sleep and come back up tonight. Not too bad of a day. If tonight's shift is anything like this one is, it won't be a problem.
Let's see. I'm gonna find something of significance to talk about. I have just been talking about nothing.
Ha. Go figure. I go to cnn.com and the first story to catch my attention is this one:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/science/04/30/dinosaur.dung.ap/index.html
130-million-year-old poop sells for $960
So much for talking about something of significance. Now, I'm learning all about old dinosaur dung.
Ah. Here we go: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/conditions/04/28/hm.fatigue/index.html
Fatigue is more than just plain tired
For a couple weeks now I have just been flat out exhausted. I've been thinking I need to get my thyroid checked. My mom, both grandmothers, sister, and now my brother are all diagnosed with hypothyroidism. There are other reasons why, but still. I should look into it. That just means another doc appt. I'm tired of coming into work on my days off. But, as the article shows... I shouldn't just push away feeling fatigued. I used to have so much energy on nights that I would wake up hours early and work out and still feel rested. Now, I skip the gym many times and I wake up with the alarm and still feel exhausted. I don't know. It might just be everything going on. After this weekend, things should come down a bit.
I'm excited though. Friday night at cancun cantina with a bunch of the nurses at the hospital and then Saturday night is the 100th Navy Nurse Corps birthday ball. :)
It's gonna be a good weekend!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
God it's good to be here walkin together, my friend. - Stevie Ray Vaughn, Life by the Drop
Here are some misc things I've been up to lately. Well, besides a LOT of work and doctor appts and nurse corps meetings, etc.
1. Rock Band night. Silly Tanya. She bought rock band a while back and we all got together to start her up one night. It was good times. I look like I'm concentrating really hard....
2. Living Water Gala with my young adult group from First Baptist Rockville. These are some great friends I've made in the past few months! I treasure them a lot.
3. Library of Congress and Tortilla Coast (tex-mex place in Capitol Hill owned by native texans) with Tara!
It's been a fun couple of weeks. Like I said, very busy though. I feel like I've been going nonstop. This week, more meetings and dentist appt. The navy nurse corps birthday week is coming up the first 2 weeks in May! Then, it's getting all my stuff settled to go on predeployment leave at the beginning of June.
God has really been putting me at peace through this whole thing and I'm very grateful. The normal Candice would be freaking out a bit...but so far, I feel at ease with the whole thing. I know everything is going to work out and be fine.
1. Rock Band night. Silly Tanya. She bought rock band a while back and we all got together to start her up one night. It was good times. I look like I'm concentrating really hard....
2. Living Water Gala with my young adult group from First Baptist Rockville. These are some great friends I've made in the past few months! I treasure them a lot.
3. Library of Congress and Tortilla Coast (tex-mex place in Capitol Hill owned by native texans) with Tara!
It's been a fun couple of weeks. Like I said, very busy though. I feel like I've been going nonstop. This week, more meetings and dentist appt. The navy nurse corps birthday week is coming up the first 2 weeks in May! Then, it's getting all my stuff settled to go on predeployment leave at the beginning of June.
God has really been putting me at peace through this whole thing and I'm very grateful. The normal Candice would be freaking out a bit...but so far, I feel at ease with the whole thing. I know everything is going to work out and be fine.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
We know a place where we are free, we throw our suits into the sea. - B-52s, Theme From A Nude Beach
Okay, so this whole time I knew that if I wanted to go overseas next and then apply for the grad school program and attend school on the west coast, that I should head to Japan. This would be much easier for me to attain school on the west coast.
I thought that I wanted to go to Yokosuka, which is the Naval base closer to Tokyo. I emailed my detailer (the guy who will help me get placed for my next duty station) and told him my plan and where I would want to go next. He said it was a great plan, but that I might do better at Okinawa or Guam because they're larger hospitals. I didn't know that. It surprised me. Well, I thought pfff Okinawa? No, silly marines are always acting up over there and they put the base on lock down a TON, plus the people that live there are usually sick of us being there (even though they need us for their economy).
Then, I thought. Guam....pfffff....where is guam and what is really there? A tiny little island of nothing.....UNTIL I STARTED SURFING THE WEB ON IT!
FORGET JAPAN! I WANT GUAM!
It's beautiful! It's a teeny, tiny little island that the US owns and is mostly occupied by the military. It's like our own little island! Amazing beaches, the best diving in the world, blue water, white sand, lots of recreation outside. It's a tropical paradise. It would be like I was on vacation for 2 years. I've heard from a few of my higher ranking officers that their favorite duty station was Guam, but I just put it aside. Now I see why! Look at this:
Um, yeah. That's got to be my next duty station. Even better...the detailer is AWESOME and said he can probably correlate my PCS-ing to my next duty station in May or June of 2009 instead of my PRD date of Sept 2009. That would be a huge favor because I'm wanting to apply for the grad school program for the navy and that means, I would have to be ready to leave for school around the summertime, in July, so I would have to already be at my next duty station by June of 2009 to go to the following duty station (wherever I end up going for school) in July 2011. This is pretty sweet.
So, Kuwait: June 2008-January 2009
Back to DC: January 2009-May 2009
Guam: June 2009-July 2011
DUINS (grad school): either San Diego or Seattle: July 2011
Now, of course, all this being said....I have plenty of time to change my mind as you all see I do on a weekly, or daily basis. I also have to pray about this a lot. I really want to make sure I'm going to end up doing what God wants for my life, not my own choices. If he ends up wanting to send me to Okinawa, so be it. I will have a wonderful time there too. In the end, all of the navy bases have amazing things to do. It's just all so exciting. The detailer said to keep my contact info and write him when September of this year comes up and we'll start working on my next duty station.
Seriously....http://www.guam-online.com/military/military.htm
I thought that I wanted to go to Yokosuka, which is the Naval base closer to Tokyo. I emailed my detailer (the guy who will help me get placed for my next duty station) and told him my plan and where I would want to go next. He said it was a great plan, but that I might do better at Okinawa or Guam because they're larger hospitals. I didn't know that. It surprised me. Well, I thought pfff Okinawa? No, silly marines are always acting up over there and they put the base on lock down a TON, plus the people that live there are usually sick of us being there (even though they need us for their economy).
Then, I thought. Guam....pfffff....where is guam and what is really there? A tiny little island of nothing.....UNTIL I STARTED SURFING THE WEB ON IT!
FORGET JAPAN! I WANT GUAM!
It's beautiful! It's a teeny, tiny little island that the US owns and is mostly occupied by the military. It's like our own little island! Amazing beaches, the best diving in the world, blue water, white sand, lots of recreation outside. It's a tropical paradise. It would be like I was on vacation for 2 years. I've heard from a few of my higher ranking officers that their favorite duty station was Guam, but I just put it aside. Now I see why! Look at this:
Um, yeah. That's got to be my next duty station. Even better...the detailer is AWESOME and said he can probably correlate my PCS-ing to my next duty station in May or June of 2009 instead of my PRD date of Sept 2009. That would be a huge favor because I'm wanting to apply for the grad school program for the navy and that means, I would have to be ready to leave for school around the summertime, in July, so I would have to already be at my next duty station by June of 2009 to go to the following duty station (wherever I end up going for school) in July 2011. This is pretty sweet.So, Kuwait: June 2008-January 2009
Back to DC: January 2009-May 2009
Guam: June 2009-July 2011
DUINS (grad school): either San Diego or Seattle: July 2011
Now, of course, all this being said....I have plenty of time to change my mind as you all see I do on a weekly, or daily basis. I also have to pray about this a lot. I really want to make sure I'm going to end up doing what God wants for my life, not my own choices. If he ends up wanting to send me to Okinawa, so be it. I will have a wonderful time there too. In the end, all of the navy bases have amazing things to do. It's just all so exciting. The detailer said to keep my contact info and write him when September of this year comes up and we'll start working on my next duty station.
Seriously....http://www.guam-online.com/military/military.htm
Monday, April 7, 2008
When all you've got to keep is strong, move along, move along like I know you do. ~Move Along by All American Rejects
Again, summer is coming up and you know what that means? All my coworkers start PCSing. That means, a lot of them are about to move on to their next duty stations. I think what is hitting me hard is my two favorite corpsmen are leaving me! HM3 Woodson was the first corpsman I ever remember working with. He's going to OR tech school at the end of this month. HN Spignardo is going to be moving to....oh shoot, I think he's going to Bremerton, WA. I had this picture of the three of us when I first started as a navy nurse back in the fall of '06:
Compare that one of the three of us to one I just took today:
Did I grow some??? I don't seem as short. Man, I'm really gonna miss these guys. I told them we have to meet up on the west coast some time. I know Spig is gonna become an officer and I'll see him again and then I'll actually be able to get to know him and his wife better. Woody, who knows. I can see him staying on the enlisted side, but doing pretty good. I'm not sure if he wants to stay in or not, but I think he should. Then again, I'm biased. OR Tech school should ensure that he'll have to stay in for a few more years. haha.
Let's see. Woodson leaves this month. Spig next month. Me in June. This is hard. Everyone comes in and out of your life. They're there for a short time, but make such a huge impact on you. I'll never forget all these guys I'm working with. This has been such a great duty station after all. I found out one of our earlier corpsman, who left for respiratory therapy school, is now stationed in Yokosuka (where I want to go next). That's awesome....so seeeeeee, it's a small navy and I will see a lot of people again!
Also, you wouldn't believe the awesome billets that are open for nurses right now. For ltjg's/lt's there are a TON of hospitals open right now. Big ones, small ones, clinics...etc. Great places too: Japan, Spain, Italy, Charleston, Seattle, etc...Also, there are a ton of operational billets. There are about 6 ships looking for nurses (that rarely happens. it's so hard to get on a ship normally). You have to be a LT or LCDR though. Some day. Not today. There are also some spots open for field medicine and officer training in R.I. Damn, it's a fine navy day. ;)
God has been so amazing in my life. I can't thank Him enough. I don't deserve to have such a smooth life. haha. There have been the ups and downs, but overall, the down times really taught me a lot and helped me get to all the ups.
Compare that one of the three of us to one I just took today:
Did I grow some??? I don't seem as short. Man, I'm really gonna miss these guys. I told them we have to meet up on the west coast some time. I know Spig is gonna become an officer and I'll see him again and then I'll actually be able to get to know him and his wife better. Woody, who knows. I can see him staying on the enlisted side, but doing pretty good. I'm not sure if he wants to stay in or not, but I think he should. Then again, I'm biased. OR Tech school should ensure that he'll have to stay in for a few more years. haha.
Let's see. Woodson leaves this month. Spig next month. Me in June. This is hard. Everyone comes in and out of your life. They're there for a short time, but make such a huge impact on you. I'll never forget all these guys I'm working with. This has been such a great duty station after all. I found out one of our earlier corpsman, who left for respiratory therapy school, is now stationed in Yokosuka (where I want to go next). That's awesome....so seeeeeee, it's a small navy and I will see a lot of people again!
Also, you wouldn't believe the awesome billets that are open for nurses right now. For ltjg's/lt's there are a TON of hospitals open right now. Big ones, small ones, clinics...etc. Great places too: Japan, Spain, Italy, Charleston, Seattle, etc...Also, there are a ton of operational billets. There are about 6 ships looking for nurses (that rarely happens. it's so hard to get on a ship normally). You have to be a LT or LCDR though. Some day. Not today. There are also some spots open for field medicine and officer training in R.I. Damn, it's a fine navy day. ;)
God has been so amazing in my life. I can't thank Him enough. I don't deserve to have such a smooth life. haha. There have been the ups and downs, but overall, the down times really taught me a lot and helped me get to all the ups.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
There's no 'dumb-ass' vaccine. - Jimmy Buffett, Permanent Reminder Of A Temporary Feeling
Pre-deployment stuff left to do:
-See the smallpox clinic and get my shot
-Get 5 more anthrax shots. (those suckers HURT the next day! I could barely move my arms this morning)
-See legal about my power of attorney and will, etc. (that won't take long...I don't have anything)
*The cat goes to my parents...or possibly shelley. I'll let you all fight it out!
*My car-probably my parents. I think my dad might like it.
*My scrapbooking supplies can go to Tanya
*My snowboard to Shelley (In hopes she could start riding!)
*Underwear dividers to my sister. She has more underwear than all the victoria's secrets in Texas
*My ikea furniture can go to Courtney. She likes ikea.... :)
That's pretty much all my will can consist of. I have nothing of value. haha.
-well woman checkup. woot. not.
-PDHA
-get my two fillings fixed. booo.
Other things before I go on leave at the beginning of June:
-reserve a storage room for my stuff
-get my parents plane tickets to fly up here and help me move
-plan the camping/tubing trip
-get misc stuff to pack in my seabag (not too much because I've already heard by the time I leave Cali I'm gonna have 4 seabags to haul around)
-buy protection for my laptop
-get an 80 gb ipod since i now have like 60 gb of music and it won't fit on my 30gb
-figure out how to make my webcam work so I can still stay in touch with everyone and go to small group if I get the time! :)
I'm so excited. It's going to be an excellent learning experience. I'll get to see another country and another culture. I have a friend who knows a guy in the Kuwaiti Marines, so I'll have a contact over there.
If anyone has tips about being deployed, pass them on. (Like, what to take, etc)
-See the smallpox clinic and get my shot
-Get 5 more anthrax shots. (those suckers HURT the next day! I could barely move my arms this morning)
-See legal about my power of attorney and will, etc. (that won't take long...I don't have anything)
*The cat goes to my parents...or possibly shelley. I'll let you all fight it out!
*My car-probably my parents. I think my dad might like it.
*My scrapbooking supplies can go to Tanya
*My snowboard to Shelley (In hopes she could start riding!)
*Underwear dividers to my sister. She has more underwear than all the victoria's secrets in Texas
*My ikea furniture can go to Courtney. She likes ikea.... :)
That's pretty much all my will can consist of. I have nothing of value. haha.
-well woman checkup. woot. not.
-PDHA
-get my two fillings fixed. booo.
Other things before I go on leave at the beginning of June:
-reserve a storage room for my stuff
-get my parents plane tickets to fly up here and help me move
-plan the camping/tubing trip
-get misc stuff to pack in my seabag (not too much because I've already heard by the time I leave Cali I'm gonna have 4 seabags to haul around)
-buy protection for my laptop
-get an 80 gb ipod since i now have like 60 gb of music and it won't fit on my 30gb
-figure out how to make my webcam work so I can still stay in touch with everyone and go to small group if I get the time! :)
I'm so excited. It's going to be an excellent learning experience. I'll get to see another country and another culture. I have a friend who knows a guy in the Kuwaiti Marines, so I'll have a contact over there.
If anyone has tips about being deployed, pass them on. (Like, what to take, etc)
Monday, March 31, 2008
I don't mind you coming here and wasting all my time. - The Cars, Just What I Needed
My events of working Saturday, 29MAR08:
0445: alarm goes off....Patton licks the mini blinds. I spray him with the water bottle, hit the snooze button, and try and roll over. patton continues to lick the mini blinds. I throw a pillow at him.
0450: Eventually just get up because I realize I won't be able to get much more sleep.
0500: shower and cup of coffee
0530: eat breakfast in front of tv
0545: leave for work
0610: get up on my floor and get my uniform ready in the locker room
06:20: go meet up with the night charge and think about assignments (but, I have a nurse who's on charge nurse orientation...so i'll let her do the assignments)
0630: help the orientee hear report from the night charge, mark off the code cart, do narc checks, and make sure all the nurses and corpsman are getting together and preparing for report
0700-0900: watch the orientee put in a few orders, check on a couple patients, check on staff, sit around.....surf ebay......contemplate calling tanya on 5 east and prank calling her....
1000: go over to 5 west and see brit who's also working
1015: go over to 5 east and see tanya who's also working
1100: sit on the counter and swing my legs and then look over and catch eye's with ADM Mike Mullen! (he's the former CNO and now the Chairman of the JCS--the joint chiefs of staff!) I jump off the counter and look at everyone at the nurses station to get up! I was NOT NOT NOT told about this visit! The nurses station looked messy, I had been SITTING on the counter in my uniform (thank God I wasn't stuffing my face like I normally am...), and didn't really call attention on deck. He's pretty laid back, so he was very pleasant, but I was the most senior person at work that morning and I felt like such a dope! Normally, they tell you about important visits like that and usually they don't come on a Saturday! When he turned, I swatted HN Walling (she used to work on our floor and was now escorting the Admiral) and said "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE WAS COMING???" Apparently, she had told one of our corpsman and they didn't realize the importance....sheesh. So, now I have two of his coins! :) Anyway, this mess all calms down and I go back to sitting around....
1300: go with tanya down to the ICU to see LTJG Chromiak! (i haven't seen her since she got back from Kuwait)
1430: talk on the phone with my mom and tape up my fingers with medical tape
1500: go see tanya on 5 east again and help her with training records. she demands I take the tape off my fingers since the tips are indeed purple...
1600: i don't remember what i was doing here. probably sending tons of text messages
1700: educate the corpsmen about oxygen devices and quiz them on situations
1730: educate the nurses on the zoll defibrillator and quiz them on situations
1800: teach the orientee on how to use standard orders on the computer
1810: go get water and beat my head on the machine.....time is passing too slowly. i want something to do.....
1830: bitch about having to be at work
1835: talk about how I can't wait for ens brown to get there....
1840: ens brown gets there and says I can go! :)
Then, I ran home and got ready and headed to Georgetown for the night with friends. Good times. We were only down to a single digit census, so I had nothing to do. I probably could have left the orientee, but there was a situation she was afraid I might need to be there for (I would have been scared too if I were on orientation) so she felt better if I stayed, but she knew how to do a lot of the charge nurse duties.
Yesterday, I got to go see the cherry blossoms and paddleboat around the tidal basin after church! See the pics on facebook.
Today, I got special lib. Thank God. I haven't had it since last summer and I have been SOO tired, so I came home and slept some more. This afternoon I saw Stop-Loss. That would be a whole other entry. There's no black and white to war. That's all I will say about it now.
Now, thinking about heading to Kuwait this summer and long term plans for my navy career. It's a fine navy day!
0445: alarm goes off....Patton licks the mini blinds. I spray him with the water bottle, hit the snooze button, and try and roll over. patton continues to lick the mini blinds. I throw a pillow at him.
0450: Eventually just get up because I realize I won't be able to get much more sleep.
0500: shower and cup of coffee
0530: eat breakfast in front of tv
0545: leave for work
0610: get up on my floor and get my uniform ready in the locker room
06:20: go meet up with the night charge and think about assignments (but, I have a nurse who's on charge nurse orientation...so i'll let her do the assignments)
0630: help the orientee hear report from the night charge, mark off the code cart, do narc checks, and make sure all the nurses and corpsman are getting together and preparing for report
0700-0900: watch the orientee put in a few orders, check on a couple patients, check on staff, sit around.....surf ebay......contemplate calling tanya on 5 east and prank calling her....
1000: go over to 5 west and see brit who's also working
1015: go over to 5 east and see tanya who's also working
1100: sit on the counter and swing my legs and then look over and catch eye's with ADM Mike Mullen! (he's the former CNO and now the Chairman of the JCS--the joint chiefs of staff!) I jump off the counter and look at everyone at the nurses station to get up! I was NOT NOT NOT told about this visit! The nurses station looked messy, I had been SITTING on the counter in my uniform (thank God I wasn't stuffing my face like I normally am...), and didn't really call attention on deck. He's pretty laid back, so he was very pleasant, but I was the most senior person at work that morning and I felt like such a dope! Normally, they tell you about important visits like that and usually they don't come on a Saturday! When he turned, I swatted HN Walling (she used to work on our floor and was now escorting the Admiral) and said "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE WAS COMING???" Apparently, she had told one of our corpsman and they didn't realize the importance....sheesh. So, now I have two of his coins! :) Anyway, this mess all calms down and I go back to sitting around....
1300: go with tanya down to the ICU to see LTJG Chromiak! (i haven't seen her since she got back from Kuwait)
1430: talk on the phone with my mom and tape up my fingers with medical tape
1500: go see tanya on 5 east again and help her with training records. she demands I take the tape off my fingers since the tips are indeed purple...
1600: i don't remember what i was doing here. probably sending tons of text messages
1700: educate the corpsmen about oxygen devices and quiz them on situations
1730: educate the nurses on the zoll defibrillator and quiz them on situations
1800: teach the orientee on how to use standard orders on the computer
1810: go get water and beat my head on the machine.....time is passing too slowly. i want something to do.....
1830: bitch about having to be at work
1835: talk about how I can't wait for ens brown to get there....
1840: ens brown gets there and says I can go! :)
Then, I ran home and got ready and headed to Georgetown for the night with friends. Good times. We were only down to a single digit census, so I had nothing to do. I probably could have left the orientee, but there was a situation she was afraid I might need to be there for (I would have been scared too if I were on orientation) so she felt better if I stayed, but she knew how to do a lot of the charge nurse duties.
Yesterday, I got to go see the cherry blossoms and paddleboat around the tidal basin after church! See the pics on facebook.
Today, I got special lib. Thank God. I haven't had it since last summer and I have been SOO tired, so I came home and slept some more. This afternoon I saw Stop-Loss. That would be a whole other entry. There's no black and white to war. That's all I will say about it now.
Now, thinking about heading to Kuwait this summer and long term plans for my navy career. It's a fine navy day!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Everyword is nonsense, but I understand it all. - Counting Crows, Anna Begins
I could watch this commercial over and over and still laugh....
Everyone needs a good laugh :)
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Spend the day being lazy, just being nature's friend. - Alabama, Mountain Music
I can't get off my butt. Someone needs to come get me off the couch. I at least managed to go work out and then shower. Now. I'm stuck. I'm just watching the CMT country music awards rerun. Country music always gets me in the mood for summer.
I really have nothing to talk about. Nothing do to. I'm taking today to sit. I was up at work Mon-Wed and then I work Fri-Sun. This is the only day I get to do this.
Soooo...
"I sing songs about Texas. Sing them often as if they were some old lover..."
CMT keeps taunting me by showing commercials for Texas. It makes me sigh and think about being back in the good ole republic of tejas. Yes, we're a strange state. Our state stone is the petrified palmwood. Did you get that? Our state STONE is actually petrified wood. Hmm. In Lubbock, more than 3 unrelated people couldn't live together. It was considered a whore house. It was also a dry county. I did have fun driving out to the strip though. Here's a commercial about a funny law in Texas:
Here's another good video:
Sigh. Can't wait to get stationed in Corpus. That would be such a beautiful station. I miss the Texas sunsets...and I'd have the beach. And a dog! haha. Ahhh. And then, when the day comes and I retire, I'll buy some land and live out in the country. I'm kinda mad that I didn't take advantage of all the Texas country singers that would come to Lubbock when I was there. I wish I could go back and listen to them all.
Nothing is really happening right now. I'm working a lot, volunteering, hanging out with friends or my small group, trying to get into dc, and starting on deployment paperwork. After some work with Senior Chief down in contingency and my department head, I have found out I am finally on the list for Kuwait this summer. It'll be a great experience if I do indeed deploy. We'll see. I'm preparing, but I don't want to get too excited yet.
I really have nothing to talk about. Nothing do to. I'm taking today to sit. I was up at work Mon-Wed and then I work Fri-Sun. This is the only day I get to do this.
Soooo...
"I sing songs about Texas. Sing them often as if they were some old lover..."
CMT keeps taunting me by showing commercials for Texas. It makes me sigh and think about being back in the good ole republic of tejas. Yes, we're a strange state. Our state stone is the petrified palmwood. Did you get that? Our state STONE is actually petrified wood. Hmm. In Lubbock, more than 3 unrelated people couldn't live together. It was considered a whore house. It was also a dry county. I did have fun driving out to the strip though. Here's a commercial about a funny law in Texas:
Here's another good video:
Sigh. Can't wait to get stationed in Corpus. That would be such a beautiful station. I miss the Texas sunsets...and I'd have the beach. And a dog! haha. Ahhh. And then, when the day comes and I retire, I'll buy some land and live out in the country. I'm kinda mad that I didn't take advantage of all the Texas country singers that would come to Lubbock when I was there. I wish I could go back and listen to them all.
Nothing is really happening right now. I'm working a lot, volunteering, hanging out with friends or my small group, trying to get into dc, and starting on deployment paperwork. After some work with Senior Chief down in contingency and my department head, I have found out I am finally on the list for Kuwait this summer. It'll be a great experience if I do indeed deploy. We'll see. I'm preparing, but I don't want to get too excited yet.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Is there a tumor in your humor? - Robbie Williams, Supreme
Okay, fun entry today! I need it after a very stressful weekend at work.
Shortisms:
-Damn whoever thought up daylight savings time!! We had to work Sat/Sun and got one less hour in our already short night of sleep. Boo.
-One thing I can talk to my corspmen about is cars. We love talking about fun project cars, etc. I showed them some pics from the rx-7 I helped with in college. Then, we played on autotrader to look up possible projects. It's great to dream. Some day I want to do that again. It was a blast. Maybe I could get ahold of a skyline in Japan (if I ever get to go).
-We finally have a local bar to go to. It's about 1 min from my apt. We know the bartender pretty well already. He was a marine and then a navy seal. He's pretty cool. Cheaper drinks than DC! I can go in sweats after work and not feel like a loser. This is pleasing.
-I love the girls in my small group at church. I just wish I could get together with them more often. Time goes too fast.
-Liberty ski closes on the 16! BOOOOOO.....my snowboarding season is coming to a close and I'm very sad. I haven't had a lot of time in the last week or so to go and I have a free lift ticket. I'm gonna try and go tomorrow.
-Girls night tonight out in Dupont Circle!! "Only nurses bar hop on a Monday night"~Brit. We really NEVER go out much anymore. Now that I'm getting to know the newer nurses on my floor better, we try and get out more often. I def don't drink as much as I used to. That's a good thing. I was a little nuts when I first moved here. I think it was all the freedom.
-I want to go country dancing. I'm thinking soon we need to plan a trip to Cancun Cantina! Before that, I'll settle for two stepping with Tanya in my living room.
-Cookies and beer are taking a toll on my belly. :) I just polished off the homemade cookies I had in my cookie jar. Now, maybe I'll be better since I don't have them sitting there. Gotta get back to downing all my water like I used to.
-I love our interns at the hospital. I just have to say that. They're so great. I just love navy doc's in general. So much better than the ones I encountered in nursing school.
-Any food you put out at work will be gone in about 30 min.
-I love the metro ride to and from work. It's only two stops, but it's peaceful when I have my ipod on and a nice, calm walk to the station.
-This weekend: received 2 wedding invitations. 1 save the date magnet. Found out one friend got engaged and another is shopping for a ring. It's beginning to feel that I actually am going to be the last single person from my friends back home. Thankfully, a lot of my navy friends are. We tear it up! No settling down for navy nurses!
-I love my pleasantly confused old patients! One of them keeps calling on his call bell and then complaining to the male nurses and corpsmen that answer it that he's wanting some pretty women to come help him. haha. So, I went in (since he's a falls risk) and walked him from the bathroom to his bed. He was like "OH. HI." and I told him I wanted him to escort me back to his side of the room, so he put his arm out and did just that. When we got back by his bed, he pointed at me and said to his family "Look what I found when I came out of the bathroom!!!" and then proceeded to introduce me 3 different times during the 5 minutes it took for me to rehook him up to his IV. He and his roommate are sooooo hilarious. They're just these old Navy guys that swap war stories and talk about "the good old days on the ship" and crack jokes. I almost want to make sure whichever nursing home one of them goes to, that they will take the other one. It's like puppies. You can't separate them!
-We almost had a "britney" showdown on Friday with a psych patient. I was kinda bummed when I didn't get to see the psych techs do a take down on her and she agreed to go in the ambulance peacefully. As I said...it was an interesting weekend at work. When is it not, though?
-We get a new round of interns on our floor starting today. This could be interesting.
-One good thing about working at a hospital if you're hungover. IV's. One of my corpsmen didn't think he was working Sunday, and had a fun night Sat night...but they changed the schedule and he didn't know, so he came in on about 1 hour of sleep. Poor guy.
-The mcdonalds on base opens at 0530 :)
That's my short, but sweet update for now. Must go enjoy the day off.
Shortisms:
-Damn whoever thought up daylight savings time!! We had to work Sat/Sun and got one less hour in our already short night of sleep. Boo.
-One thing I can talk to my corspmen about is cars. We love talking about fun project cars, etc. I showed them some pics from the rx-7 I helped with in college. Then, we played on autotrader to look up possible projects. It's great to dream. Some day I want to do that again. It was a blast. Maybe I could get ahold of a skyline in Japan (if I ever get to go).
-We finally have a local bar to go to. It's about 1 min from my apt. We know the bartender pretty well already. He was a marine and then a navy seal. He's pretty cool. Cheaper drinks than DC! I can go in sweats after work and not feel like a loser. This is pleasing.
-I love the girls in my small group at church. I just wish I could get together with them more often. Time goes too fast.
-Liberty ski closes on the 16! BOOOOOO.....my snowboarding season is coming to a close and I'm very sad. I haven't had a lot of time in the last week or so to go and I have a free lift ticket. I'm gonna try and go tomorrow.
-Girls night tonight out in Dupont Circle!! "Only nurses bar hop on a Monday night"~Brit. We really NEVER go out much anymore. Now that I'm getting to know the newer nurses on my floor better, we try and get out more often. I def don't drink as much as I used to. That's a good thing. I was a little nuts when I first moved here. I think it was all the freedom.
-I want to go country dancing. I'm thinking soon we need to plan a trip to Cancun Cantina! Before that, I'll settle for two stepping with Tanya in my living room.
-Cookies and beer are taking a toll on my belly. :) I just polished off the homemade cookies I had in my cookie jar. Now, maybe I'll be better since I don't have them sitting there. Gotta get back to downing all my water like I used to.
-I love our interns at the hospital. I just have to say that. They're so great. I just love navy doc's in general. So much better than the ones I encountered in nursing school.
-Any food you put out at work will be gone in about 30 min.
-I love the metro ride to and from work. It's only two stops, but it's peaceful when I have my ipod on and a nice, calm walk to the station.
-This weekend: received 2 wedding invitations. 1 save the date magnet. Found out one friend got engaged and another is shopping for a ring. It's beginning to feel that I actually am going to be the last single person from my friends back home. Thankfully, a lot of my navy friends are. We tear it up! No settling down for navy nurses!
-I love my pleasantly confused old patients! One of them keeps calling on his call bell and then complaining to the male nurses and corpsmen that answer it that he's wanting some pretty women to come help him. haha. So, I went in (since he's a falls risk) and walked him from the bathroom to his bed. He was like "OH. HI." and I told him I wanted him to escort me back to his side of the room, so he put his arm out and did just that. When we got back by his bed, he pointed at me and said to his family "Look what I found when I came out of the bathroom!!!" and then proceeded to introduce me 3 different times during the 5 minutes it took for me to rehook him up to his IV. He and his roommate are sooooo hilarious. They're just these old Navy guys that swap war stories and talk about "the good old days on the ship" and crack jokes. I almost want to make sure whichever nursing home one of them goes to, that they will take the other one. It's like puppies. You can't separate them!
-We almost had a "britney" showdown on Friday with a psych patient. I was kinda bummed when I didn't get to see the psych techs do a take down on her and she agreed to go in the ambulance peacefully. As I said...it was an interesting weekend at work. When is it not, though?
-We get a new round of interns on our floor starting today. This could be interesting.
-One good thing about working at a hospital if you're hungover. IV's. One of my corpsmen didn't think he was working Sunday, and had a fun night Sat night...but they changed the schedule and he didn't know, so he came in on about 1 hour of sleep. Poor guy.
-The mcdonalds on base opens at 0530 :)
That's my short, but sweet update for now. Must go enjoy the day off.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Every simple act of mercy, every step to kingdom come, all the hope in every heart, will speak what love has done. - The Judds, Testify To Love
My whole world and all my previous values and thoughts are being twisted. I don't know what to do with all of this. I'm being moved beyond anything I could ever imagine and I'm seeing the world and God in a totally different way. I can't explain it and in reality I didn't ask for it. I asked for help finding a mate....and this whole pandora's box opened in which my faith is being tried and my mind is a whirl.
In the still, small voice He has, He's telling me that this lonely, painful time is necessary. I was on the verge of jumping into a marriage. It was broken. I became broken. It's scary looking back and seeing how close I was to doing something that may not have been God's plan for me. For us. I see so many friends getting married (I think there's only about 2 people from my nursing school class that is are not married or engaged). I want that love badly. I want to be in their shoes, but God's telling me to slow down and really look at myself and my life. Would I rather jump into something I feel is right at the time and I feel all the goosebumps and lovey-dovey feelings, or do I want to wait (forever how long this may be!) for the man that God has specially chosen for me and in the time being, be formed into a wonderful bride?
I will have to chose the second. It is painful and hard to be single, (especially when you know you're far from the thoughts of your previous loves) but it will all be worth it when I finally get to my wedding day and I know that I am a strong woman of God and I'm marrying a strong man of God who will not give me empty promises or tell me "I'm too much to handle".
I'm reading this amazing book, Captivating. (Thank you Shelley for mentioning it!) It talks about how relationships often get to a point, where the man feels he is going too deep into a woman's world and she requires too much and they stop and say "I'm not going there. This is all you will get from me. You're too much work."
When the book got to this, I stopped. For years, I have often thought that there was something wrong of me. This was said by all of my past loves. I knew at the time these things were said, that I was really reaching out. I felt a form of them leaving, and I got scared. Women fear abandonment more than anything and when they start to feel it, they pull on tighter and cling too much. My problem was that I loved so much that I was scared to death to let go, because they were all I had. Now, I need to learn to put all my love into Christ, and then I won't lean so much on men to emotionally fill my void in my heart.
Another chapter started mentioning Hosea (chapter 2):
"you will call me 'my husband';
you will no longer call me 'my master.
But, when God wins her back, their relationship is changed. It's better than it was before. She sees him as a love and not just "The king of kings".
It couldn't be more black and white. This year has been troubling. For me, but also a close friend. It's amazing that we're experiencing this together. I've often said that we should be single at the same time! Now, we're not planning to go guy watching at clubs, but grow in our spiritual relationships. This is a great time, and although my heart aches (most days and nights), I know it is all going to be better in the end.
You're all thinking.....very churchy message. Yes, it is. How strange. Seriously. I don't know what's happening to me. I've never been one to run around and talk about all this stuff so openly. But, these things that are being shown to me just make me stop in amazement. It's like my mind and heart are being read and the answers given to me, just like that! It's a daily struggle, because there are so many things from before that I still want to do and still do. I haven't cut out beer or going out with friends or anything crazy. I still listen to "secular" music. I will cut my hair again. haha. It's not like I'm going off into the amish country, but I am letting my heart be healed.
In the still, small voice He has, He's telling me that this lonely, painful time is necessary. I was on the verge of jumping into a marriage. It was broken. I became broken. It's scary looking back and seeing how close I was to doing something that may not have been God's plan for me. For us. I see so many friends getting married (I think there's only about 2 people from my nursing school class that is are not married or engaged). I want that love badly. I want to be in their shoes, but God's telling me to slow down and really look at myself and my life. Would I rather jump into something I feel is right at the time and I feel all the goosebumps and lovey-dovey feelings, or do I want to wait (forever how long this may be!) for the man that God has specially chosen for me and in the time being, be formed into a wonderful bride?
I will have to chose the second. It is painful and hard to be single, (especially when you know you're far from the thoughts of your previous loves) but it will all be worth it when I finally get to my wedding day and I know that I am a strong woman of God and I'm marrying a strong man of God who will not give me empty promises or tell me "I'm too much to handle".
I'm reading this amazing book, Captivating. (Thank you Shelley for mentioning it!) It talks about how relationships often get to a point, where the man feels he is going too deep into a woman's world and she requires too much and they stop and say "I'm not going there. This is all you will get from me. You're too much work."
When the book got to this, I stopped. For years, I have often thought that there was something wrong of me. This was said by all of my past loves. I knew at the time these things were said, that I was really reaching out. I felt a form of them leaving, and I got scared. Women fear abandonment more than anything and when they start to feel it, they pull on tighter and cling too much. My problem was that I loved so much that I was scared to death to let go, because they were all I had. Now, I need to learn to put all my love into Christ, and then I won't lean so much on men to emotionally fill my void in my heart.
Another chapter started mentioning Hosea (chapter 2):
6 Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes;
I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way.
7 She will chase after her lovers but not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them.
Then she will say,
'I will go back to my husband as at first,
for then I was better off than now.'
8 She has not acknowledged that I was the one
who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil,
who lavished on her the silver and gold—
which they used for Baal.
14 "Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.
15 There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor [a] a door of hope.
There she will sing [b] as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.
"you will call me 'my husband';
you will no longer call me 'my master.
But, when God wins her back, their relationship is changed. It's better than it was before. She sees him as a love and not just "The king of kings".
It couldn't be more black and white. This year has been troubling. For me, but also a close friend. It's amazing that we're experiencing this together. I've often said that we should be single at the same time! Now, we're not planning to go guy watching at clubs, but grow in our spiritual relationships. This is a great time, and although my heart aches (most days and nights), I know it is all going to be better in the end.
You're all thinking.....very churchy message. Yes, it is. How strange. Seriously. I don't know what's happening to me. I've never been one to run around and talk about all this stuff so openly. But, these things that are being shown to me just make me stop in amazement. It's like my mind and heart are being read and the answers given to me, just like that! It's a daily struggle, because there are so many things from before that I still want to do and still do. I haven't cut out beer or going out with friends or anything crazy. I still listen to "secular" music. I will cut my hair again. haha. It's not like I'm going off into the amish country, but I am letting my heart be healed.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
A moment's only temporary. Let too many go, and you will be history too. - The Juliana Theory, Something Isn't Right Here
I'm always for seizing the moment. I do it almost too much. I learned a rough lesson when I was going through the breakup with my high school boyfriend. Numerous times I would throw myself at him. Profess my love for him. (ok, don't laugh at this next one....well, okay, laugh) Write pathetic 17 year old angst poetry for him. Only in every circumstance to end up curled up in the fetal position on my living room floor at 3am with my mom next to me crying out "whyyyyyyyyy?".
You'd think that after all my experience with life and other relationships, that I would learn my lesson. Ha. It was weighing on my mind and I couldn't stop thinking about it so I shared my feelings. I wasn't expecting a response and honestly, no response is better than a horrible one, I think. But, still. I'm mad at myself for stooping to that level. I want someone who wants me just as bad as I want them. I want the guy who can't sleep until he comes to find me and is next to me. If he left me, there was a reason. Why can't I just get it through my thick skull. He's obviously moved on. I want to as well.
I gave up on the search for a guy because DC just really ain't the place for relationships. The people here are just not what I'm looking for like that. I started praying a lot that God would use this time to shape me and grow me the way He would like and that I would be ready for whenever he decides to send me my Prince Charming.
That consoled me for about a week and a half. It's hard. I know to trust God that everything will work out, but my fear is that I've lost trust in man. So, say, God sets both me and my future husband up perfectly and we fall in love, yada yada....who's to say that in 10 years, my husband just won't get sick of me and want to move on. God can only do so much, but we all have free will. I trust my own feelings. I don't say "I love you" unless I really mean it. I mean, I would take a bullet for you, want to spend forever with you no matter how horrible your little quirks are, and work through the hard time "I love you". But, my experience is that the guys that have said that did not really mean it. I really thought the last one did, but nope. So, how do you know for sure that they mean it? Do I actually have to stage a robbery and see if the guy will jump and catch the bullet for me? Hm...that's an idea.
Anyway, my roommate and I have been talking about mistakes we've made with guys where we just look like the ridiculous girl while the guy can sit back with the power (we gave him) and laugh. We both have talked about how we should have learned from the past and yet we make the same mistakes.
I guess I should look at it as another growing lesson. This time, thankfully, I did not end up on the fetal position crying "why" in the middle of the night. Instead, I sat on the couch with my roommate and drank some wine and talking about what I wouldn't do next time. Right. I'm sure I'll do it again and again. In the end, that makes me, me. I'm blunt honest. I put my feelings out there. I'm not afraid to be stupid in love. One day I will find the guy that matches that.
On a side note...it's 9 degrees (wind chill) outside and I'm filling out deployment paperwork for Kuwait. I'm the primary person on the list for my floor for that deployment this summer. It's supposed to leave in July, I believe, so I'd get 2 weeks leave in June to go home and get everything in order. I'm already thinking about a weekend camping trip to go float the river. Dreaming of the Texas summer, flip flops, cut offs, beer, and an inner tube. :) Of course, when I'm doing that, I'll probably be dreaming of snow and moutains, beer, and a snowboard. haha.
Grass is always greener.
You'd think that after all my experience with life and other relationships, that I would learn my lesson. Ha. It was weighing on my mind and I couldn't stop thinking about it so I shared my feelings. I wasn't expecting a response and honestly, no response is better than a horrible one, I think. But, still. I'm mad at myself for stooping to that level. I want someone who wants me just as bad as I want them. I want the guy who can't sleep until he comes to find me and is next to me. If he left me, there was a reason. Why can't I just get it through my thick skull. He's obviously moved on. I want to as well.
I gave up on the search for a guy because DC just really ain't the place for relationships. The people here are just not what I'm looking for like that. I started praying a lot that God would use this time to shape me and grow me the way He would like and that I would be ready for whenever he decides to send me my Prince Charming.
That consoled me for about a week and a half. It's hard. I know to trust God that everything will work out, but my fear is that I've lost trust in man. So, say, God sets both me and my future husband up perfectly and we fall in love, yada yada....who's to say that in 10 years, my husband just won't get sick of me and want to move on. God can only do so much, but we all have free will. I trust my own feelings. I don't say "I love you" unless I really mean it. I mean, I would take a bullet for you, want to spend forever with you no matter how horrible your little quirks are, and work through the hard time "I love you". But, my experience is that the guys that have said that did not really mean it. I really thought the last one did, but nope. So, how do you know for sure that they mean it? Do I actually have to stage a robbery and see if the guy will jump and catch the bullet for me? Hm...that's an idea.
Anyway, my roommate and I have been talking about mistakes we've made with guys where we just look like the ridiculous girl while the guy can sit back with the power (we gave him) and laugh. We both have talked about how we should have learned from the past and yet we make the same mistakes.
I guess I should look at it as another growing lesson. This time, thankfully, I did not end up on the fetal position crying "why" in the middle of the night. Instead, I sat on the couch with my roommate and drank some wine and talking about what I wouldn't do next time. Right. I'm sure I'll do it again and again. In the end, that makes me, me. I'm blunt honest. I put my feelings out there. I'm not afraid to be stupid in love. One day I will find the guy that matches that.
On a side note...it's 9 degrees (wind chill) outside and I'm filling out deployment paperwork for Kuwait. I'm the primary person on the list for my floor for that deployment this summer. It's supposed to leave in July, I believe, so I'd get 2 weeks leave in June to go home and get everything in order. I'm already thinking about a weekend camping trip to go float the river. Dreaming of the Texas summer, flip flops, cut offs, beer, and an inner tube. :) Of course, when I'm doing that, I'll probably be dreaming of snow and moutains, beer, and a snowboard. haha.
Grass is always greener.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past, you must fight just to keep them alive. - Survivor, Eye Of The Tiger
As I rest my head against the wall of the plane and gaze out on the horizon, I find myself reflecting back on the past few days of leave. I do this every flight back to DC and my life in the navy. Usually, I have a point in my last day in Texas that I have to fight back the tears and this time even let a few get past me while sitting in Red Robin with my parents. I'm not really crying for having to leave or that I don't like my life or job back here in DC. Quite the contrary. I have this strange feeling that I believe only people in the military can understand. I live two lives.
Life back home. I dream of this life. Buying a house. Getting married. Having family and friends close by. This is a life where I can settle. But, I don't want to settle. I feel comfortable here.
The Navy life. Surprising. I don't know where I'll be or who I will meet. I have met various people. I can see differences and similarities. People in the military seem to get along with other people better. We may not agree with some people, but so far I haven't had the drama, and we all understand we have our differences. I feel free here.
It's especially nice to fly into the city and see all the monuments and symbols of independence when we are taxiing in. Even if I decide to get out after my 4 years, this has been the best decision for me. There is no other experience like having to move off, away from home and learn to live on your own. There are def worse places the Navy could have sent me. Well, actually, I don't know about that. The navy bases all happen to be at really fun places. That's one of the reasons why I chose this branch.
Anywho, it's like I live 2 lives. I visit the first one every few months or so. It's nice for a couple days. I catch up with old friends. Find out about a LOT of stuff that I missed while I was gone. Get my mom's cooking. Drive around Arlington late at night and sit in familiar parking lots. Visit Rusty's pool hall (where Jeff is now a regular at) and play on the same tables I played on when I was 18. Laid around my game room and had some good late night talks. And relive my life back at the high school age.
Then, I come back and have to face reality. A job. The military. The uniform. The apartment. The bills.
And yet....along with more responsibility, comes more fun! With no school, my free time is mine. No homework. No answering to parents. No drama. No age limits. No being broke. I have time to chill with the roommate and drink wine. I'm going snowboarding again tomorrow. 5th time this season. :) Got to go to a movie with Tanya. Got to ride the metro and enjoy my ipod.
Damn, it feels good. Just like this blog has seemed very back and forth, that's how I feel when I go on leave. It's this cycle. It's interesting, and I'm just starting to get used to the drill.
Okay, I have to mention the wedding real fast. Courtney and Adam had a wonderful ceremony! I had a great time with Courtney, Shelley, and Erin setting it all up and putting it together. I loved some of the special touches that they did to the wedding. There was dancing! That's the important part, right? haha.
Good times were had by all...
Life back home. I dream of this life. Buying a house. Getting married. Having family and friends close by. This is a life where I can settle. But, I don't want to settle. I feel comfortable here.
The Navy life. Surprising. I don't know where I'll be or who I will meet. I have met various people. I can see differences and similarities. People in the military seem to get along with other people better. We may not agree with some people, but so far I haven't had the drama, and we all understand we have our differences. I feel free here.
It's especially nice to fly into the city and see all the monuments and symbols of independence when we are taxiing in. Even if I decide to get out after my 4 years, this has been the best decision for me. There is no other experience like having to move off, away from home and learn to live on your own. There are def worse places the Navy could have sent me. Well, actually, I don't know about that. The navy bases all happen to be at really fun places. That's one of the reasons why I chose this branch.
Anywho, it's like I live 2 lives. I visit the first one every few months or so. It's nice for a couple days. I catch up with old friends. Find out about a LOT of stuff that I missed while I was gone. Get my mom's cooking. Drive around Arlington late at night and sit in familiar parking lots. Visit Rusty's pool hall (where Jeff is now a regular at) and play on the same tables I played on when I was 18. Laid around my game room and had some good late night talks. And relive my life back at the high school age.
Then, I come back and have to face reality. A job. The military. The uniform. The apartment. The bills.
And yet....along with more responsibility, comes more fun! With no school, my free time is mine. No homework. No answering to parents. No drama. No age limits. No being broke. I have time to chill with the roommate and drink wine. I'm going snowboarding again tomorrow. 5th time this season. :) Got to go to a movie with Tanya. Got to ride the metro and enjoy my ipod.
Damn, it feels good. Just like this blog has seemed very back and forth, that's how I feel when I go on leave. It's this cycle. It's interesting, and I'm just starting to get used to the drill.
Okay, I have to mention the wedding real fast. Courtney and Adam had a wonderful ceremony! I had a great time with Courtney, Shelley, and Erin setting it all up and putting it together. I loved some of the special touches that they did to the wedding. There was dancing! That's the important part, right? haha.
Good times were had by all...
Friday, February 8, 2008
I'm the definition of half man, half drugs. - Puff Daddy, Bad Boy For Life
"Ledger 'died as the result of acute intoxication by the combined effects of oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam, and doxylamine.' "
~Sad lessons from Heath Ledger's Death By Miriam Falco
Managing Editor, Medical News
This whole article was talking about how Heath Ledger did not have any of these medications in excess. That's scary! It was just the mere combination of these drugs that did it....and then I think about it. I can think of at least 3 people on my floor at the hospital that take unGODLY amounts of pain killers, sleeping aids, anti-anxiety medications for random chronic pain. It's scary. So many of these people end up being psych evaluated because doctors can't figure out what exactly is causing the pain, but they keep crying and carrying on no matter how many MAJOR painkillers we give them. We're talking about fentanyl patches, dilaudid pca's, with oxycodone and muscle relaxers, valium, etc....and people will still be saying their pain is horrible. It's unbelievable what people will take now for "chronic back pain". You know, my grandfather worked on a farm his whole life and I'm sure had "chronic back pain" and probably just took some motrin for it or a hot shower. I can't believe some of these people would want to live their life totally drugged out and bedridden because they keep taking pain meds. They don't even want to hear the pain management doctors talk about non-narcotic options for pain, like muscle relaxers or anti-depressant meds (which sometimes can be used for pain).
Most of the time, these are also the same patients that are too large to even move on their own and will call you in their room about every hour to 1. move a phone. 2. pull their light cord. 3. help move their leg because it's too big to move on their own. (these three things were all asked of me by one pt who kept ringing his bell....and everyone else was running around, so me, as the charge nurse, had to get up from what I was doing and go do this for him. And he's only in his 50's!) Sometimes the most depressing things coming from hospitals is not the sad stories of unexpected tragedies and accidents, but just humans in general not caring about the bodies God created for them. Our hospitals are just full of patients that do not take care of themselves and cannot do anything on their own. Now, I understand for all our little old ladies who are weak and will fall a lot. In fact, those are the ones who SHOULD be calling for help, but guess what?? They keep wanting to run around and keep moving. Ha.
I seriously could go on and on about this topic....but I must make myself stop.
In other news. I went snowboarding with a few nursing friends yesterday. Whitetail resort had free lift tickets for military, so the whole day on the mountain was free for us that own our board. :) It was so awesome. I also met a new friend who works in the NICU. She's been riding since she was 15, so we all got mini lessons from her. I went and tried to carve down one of the intermediate trails. TRIED. I did o...k...the first time. I had never had such a rush in my life. I was going fast and bouncing off little mounds of snow. I can't wait to get better and better. That's what's awesome about snowboarding. It's so hard, but each time you see yourself improve. It's a great feeling. Well, later in the day, I went again and did horrible. I kept falling and when I got to the end, I wanted to do it again because I was so mad. I did even worse. Bah. She said it looked like I was just tired, because I wasn't quite as good with my footwork. I was tired, but still. I got some air all right. Several times, I just went airborn and face planted into some icy snow and slid for about 15 feet. Snow flew up everywhere and I just laid there with a headache thinking about the helmet I should probably invest in. Ah. I'm quite sore, but excited to get back to the slopes again soon. Only one more trip on my advantage card and I get a free lift ticket. Shoot yeah! And, now we have another friend to ride with! We had joked about starting a club at the hospital. I'm so glad I got into riding. I can't wait someday to try out surfing too. Hopefully, it will seem like a piece of cake compared to this.
I've talked enough. I'm going to go back to watching the rockville pike drama unfold 16 stories below me. Something is going on at the white flint mall a block from me. I can see emergency vehicles, helicopters overhead, etc....maybe I should grab my binoculars.
~Sad lessons from Heath Ledger's Death By Miriam Falco
Managing Editor, Medical News
This whole article was talking about how Heath Ledger did not have any of these medications in excess. That's scary! It was just the mere combination of these drugs that did it....and then I think about it. I can think of at least 3 people on my floor at the hospital that take unGODLY amounts of pain killers, sleeping aids, anti-anxiety medications for random chronic pain. It's scary. So many of these people end up being psych evaluated because doctors can't figure out what exactly is causing the pain, but they keep crying and carrying on no matter how many MAJOR painkillers we give them. We're talking about fentanyl patches, dilaudid pca's, with oxycodone and muscle relaxers, valium, etc....and people will still be saying their pain is horrible. It's unbelievable what people will take now for "chronic back pain". You know, my grandfather worked on a farm his whole life and I'm sure had "chronic back pain" and probably just took some motrin for it or a hot shower. I can't believe some of these people would want to live their life totally drugged out and bedridden because they keep taking pain meds. They don't even want to hear the pain management doctors talk about non-narcotic options for pain, like muscle relaxers or anti-depressant meds (which sometimes can be used for pain).
Most of the time, these are also the same patients that are too large to even move on their own and will call you in their room about every hour to 1. move a phone. 2. pull their light cord. 3. help move their leg because it's too big to move on their own. (these three things were all asked of me by one pt who kept ringing his bell....and everyone else was running around, so me, as the charge nurse, had to get up from what I was doing and go do this for him. And he's only in his 50's!) Sometimes the most depressing things coming from hospitals is not the sad stories of unexpected tragedies and accidents, but just humans in general not caring about the bodies God created for them. Our hospitals are just full of patients that do not take care of themselves and cannot do anything on their own. Now, I understand for all our little old ladies who are weak and will fall a lot. In fact, those are the ones who SHOULD be calling for help, but guess what?? They keep wanting to run around and keep moving. Ha.
I seriously could go on and on about this topic....but I must make myself stop.
In other news. I went snowboarding with a few nursing friends yesterday. Whitetail resort had free lift tickets for military, so the whole day on the mountain was free for us that own our board. :) It was so awesome. I also met a new friend who works in the NICU. She's been riding since she was 15, so we all got mini lessons from her. I went and tried to carve down one of the intermediate trails. TRIED. I did o...k...the first time. I had never had such a rush in my life. I was going fast and bouncing off little mounds of snow. I can't wait to get better and better. That's what's awesome about snowboarding. It's so hard, but each time you see yourself improve. It's a great feeling. Well, later in the day, I went again and did horrible. I kept falling and when I got to the end, I wanted to do it again because I was so mad. I did even worse. Bah. She said it looked like I was just tired, because I wasn't quite as good with my footwork. I was tired, but still. I got some air all right. Several times, I just went airborn and face planted into some icy snow and slid for about 15 feet. Snow flew up everywhere and I just laid there with a headache thinking about the helmet I should probably invest in. Ah. I'm quite sore, but excited to get back to the slopes again soon. Only one more trip on my advantage card and I get a free lift ticket. Shoot yeah! And, now we have another friend to ride with! We had joked about starting a club at the hospital. I'm so glad I got into riding. I can't wait someday to try out surfing too. Hopefully, it will seem like a piece of cake compared to this.
I've talked enough. I'm going to go back to watching the rockville pike drama unfold 16 stories below me. Something is going on at the white flint mall a block from me. I can see emergency vehicles, helicopters overhead, etc....maybe I should grab my binoculars.
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